It's BREATHING, There Is LIFE

Chapter 136

2010-10-07T13:03:00.002+08:00

Its been a Hell Week, only 3 days into this week.

Bought a psp on monday. Its a scam, went back to that shop on wed and see her response. Gave her a chance but she still bent on eating me, cheating me. I could bear no more, i will go to CASE and see about it. I'm not really positive about the outcome.

Yesterday was really a lousy day. After my lunch, i just felt awkward. Went to that shop. Later to orchard to check out stuffs regarding psp. In the train from orchard to Admiralty, i felt so weak, i felt like asking ppl to give their seats to me. Vomited in evening when i reached admiralty, but still i went for the pinsi buffet at woodlands industrial area. My body felt warm. Vomited again when i went back to Admiralty. Hurried back home to my house nearby clinic.

Nothing went right during this journey, when ever i need to change lines at bishan to orange line and serangoon to north-east line, before i could reach the platforms, the screens always say 6 minutes. Fate can be cruel. Reached sengkang, quickly walk to that clinic.

There's still 5 minutes before the closing time but the doctor refused to see anymore patient. Its a doctor's duty to treat a patient! Have only $10 in my wallet, surely its not enough to see a doctor, called my friends, not one pick up. Friends? I dont think i have any ! In the end have to ask my mum to bring me to another clinic.

Doctor said its food poisoning and fever. A hell week so far, illness and a scam !

0710 thursday.

Chapter 135

2010-08-12T00:22:00.002+08:00

END OF MOP-UP OPERATION ON 11TH AUGUST. END OF BATTLE OFFICIALLY DECLARED ON 7TH AUGUST. BATTLE LAST FROM 25TH JUNE TO 7TH AUGUST, 44DAYS, 48DAYS INCLUDING MOPPING UP OPERATION.

We really finally cleared up everything this time. We now know who's behind our misunderstanding. Many people beforehand said its useless to know everything, instead just move on. But i was just stubborn and in the end i got what i wanna know.

Sorry friend, its not entirely your fault though u said u regret yr actions. I can feel it. Not yr fault, everything takes 2 hands to clap. Now i just wanna bury everything away. I can feel from our conversation that both of us can be back to the past though i'm just remain optimistic, Whatever, finally i can take a big breadth! You too! :)

11th august 2010 wed

Chapter 134

2010-07-25T00:53:00.003+08:00

today, out of no where, went out with 7 gals while i'm the only guy lucky still have Lin Dan. quite reluctant at first but spur on by Peng Fang words; 你是不是男人？ take this experience as a test! something like this... Seriously i really admire her, she's beautiful, she's the type which is my wife category. its not that i admire her only because of today... in the past at work, i had told her that a few times before. Again there's no future if we 2 got together... She older and she going home soon... Thats life...
anyway for memory sake too some pics with her, wanna send her next time. i'm really happy that at least i have a pic of us :) anyway for this 3.5 hours, i say its worth it at least i'm really happy with Peng Fang and also with Lin Dan and the others though we may not be as close. Really thanks for really calling me, Peng Fang. For giving me a chance to apologise even though you say its ok. how sad when i started to know more about you, yet you are going back soon :(
Since thursday, i been busy, with people going out with me. at least these days, i felt more comfort, at least i can temporarily forget my troubles. Many thanks to Lin Dan, Rong Li, Peng Fang and the rest for these 3 days!
Peng Fang, God Bless You!!!!!!!!!!
240710saturday

Chapter 133

2010-07-23T23:44:00.002+08:00

today went out with rongli, this just crop up from nothing, just ask lor. anyway, didn't waste my time with her, pour my woes on her, get her counseling, know more about her, about her plans too and i dont think we are just good colleagues now.
no matter what, for this past month, i admit its not good times for me, lucky for her smiles. At least it brings comfort and console when i just think of them whenever i'm hit badly by another her :( really thanks, u have been a good friend! =D
same as with lin dan yesterday, meeting them all at the same place! we just meet for lunch thats all, little did we expect we will be watching inception with her friend till its nearly 9, anyway she quite matured and adorable at times :) both she and rongli like to smile at me as if i'm a big joke! haha, but i dont mind! seriously, your smiles bring comfort and console!
though we may part in the near future and never meet again, these short memories with you gals will live on! God bless you

230710friday

Chaper 132

2010-07-18T23:25:00.003+08:00

if what auntie said is true, i wonder why u are behaving like this. i believe there are reasons behind it. just that i dont know them yet, maybe u yrself not even sure.

you sound unwell when i call u to go for dinner, u rejected, thought u feeling unwell,
I just msg u 2 msg of concern, just simple msg. u replied me; telling me to delete yr number. i know i like u thats why i care for u but i think friends will also send msgs of concern to a friend whom they think isnt well. I dint reply afterwards, i dont know what to say. i know if i say anymore more, something big shall happen. its not as if i msg u everyday, its like a few days, a bit of msgs. yr responses are too over the top, even passer-bys can tell that and that theres should be something behind it- yr reasons. that msg really
well, what can i say. maybe time heals or maybe time will help us.

180710 sunday

Chapter 131

2010-07-10T23:46:00.003+08:00

What a twist of fate... i can't believe it, but i don't know if i shall quit or restart this. i wanna restart

the aunty told me that you and her over qq, you told her that u have hao gan towards me. That day was the day after you chased me away on sunday, 27 june! you chased me away that day, yet the next day u say u have hao gan of me. whats all this about, is there any specific reason that u dont want us to go further ?
she told me what happen this thursday when u and her are working together. she say she asked if i was there, would she has the strength to continue, you said YESSSS! whats this supposed to mean when the next day, which is friday, which is yesterday on the train home together, we cleared up everything and i really trusted you, and i thought all these are my wishful thinking, me putting a full-stop to this!? does feelings fade so fast overnight?!
i dont believe... thens what your reason for covering up on the train home yesterday?! i really dont know what u are thinking, now the situation is we like each other mutually, but what for all this covering up, saying the opposite stuffs? whatever, now i'm really confuse and helpless though i lived again when i know u really like me

lucky there's this gal who never fails to brighten up the day wherever we work. she always smile heartily when we both make eye contact :) i always ask u why u always smile when u look at me, is it that i'm cute or funny? haha xD
bought u kopi-c as i thought this may perked u up for work and afraid that milk tea is fattening. bought u a red bean bun though u only ask for something hot. just a gentleman act? haha, but i'm a bit sad when u told me u gave the bun to another guy but its really fine:)
gave u my number when earlier, u dont wanna give me yours, though i dont know if u will call me though i ask u to, when i drop off. really thanks for being the only light when my day becomes night, how i wished if i and her is as straight forward as u and me :/
but i still wanna thank u for being there when i shared with u my troubles, really thanks. i hope our relationship not just remain good colleagues, friends better :)

10july2010

Chapter 130

2010-07-10T01:37:00.003+08:00

finally, end of my dream slightly over midnight! everything is clear and water under the bridge.

you explain your actions in the theater saying that u treat me like a good friend though u dont know me for long =.= but now u say we cant be good friends, well time can change that :)

whatever it is, thank fate as everything seems to be fate-planned, same ride, sitting together all these. i could and convinced that you are speaking nothing but the truth. in the end we both had a laugh about it, it seems we or i finally throw the rock in our hearts away. i'm a bit sad that we can't go further but secretly rejoice that i hadn't took any actions to woo you that may hurt us and we ended up as strangers or worse. but at least i can sleep better! at now we are still friends not ending up as hi-bye friend, haha, thank you also for clearing up! and i really like yr generosity, DaFang!

yy sister is sick and i helped her out today, but she said i'm only making a few rounds more. A bit sad when i hear this, but i could somehow felt her appreciation later:) have a good rest !

09july10 friday

Chapter 129

2010-07-03T00:00:00.002+08:00

so what if she has interest in me or not? so what?! why am i keeping myself troubled?! so what if she does! Damn, i will just take it that nothing happen, pls stop thinking so much!!!!!! but the thought of u maybe having an interest in me just can't stop me from thinking........ how it will be so beautiful if we will be together...... nothing has happen but why the hell am i thinking so much and far! wishful and maybe one-sided thinking of mine! when yy call me that its impossible to meet for movie, my heart dropped. i think too much that i thought it was you who told her to say all that to me. am i thinking so much ? why !!!!
just live normally and take one step at a time, fate, help us.

020710

Chapter 128

2010-06-27T22:37:00.003+08:00

i more feel that its just a sudden surge. cos when u replied back i felt some relief like at least u willing to speak to me, i think at least we are still friends, maybe just that u will be more cautious towards me or maybe we will never be closer again, i hope you wont. i was really scared when u chased me away :( is that i didnt know treating u good is something u dont like. thinking back, its like the joanne incident. Maybe after 2 years long since dec 2007, i forgot and need some reminder.
i also dont know how it will be when we meet again, arkward? hope we can return to the days before that movie. you said i treated you differently since the movie. i also know that but i think its more like towards a new friend which i treasured, thats why.
but looking back, i dont really like the days, its like everyone thinks i'm fooling around, a normal thing.
whatever it is, i still treat you like a friend, but hope u wont reject me treating u better, hope we can go back to the days before the movie, you're right, maybe a little better treatment will be fine.

sunday270610

Chapter 127

2010-06-25T23:22:00.003+08:00

i'm really very happy today, although in the end i'm real tired.

in the theater of iluma, you rest yr head or sleep on my shoulder occasionally for a while, i could felt yr breathing. Be it there's no intention at all, i just hope u will continue to rest yr head on my shoulder. Many thoughts are running through my head in the theater. Are you dropping hints or are u simply needing a shoulder. i don't care, simply put; i felt i'm in a relationship and i hope it's real.

i held yr fingers once, but it wasn't for long, you let go after a while. what does this mean? i really don't know. movie ended. Took a pic with you, i put my hand on yr shoulder, asking if you mind, you said yes with a smile. Took my hand off. Pic taken.

had deserts with you gals, you said as your sister. . . What does this mean? I hope we could be more than this.

took the bus with u back. fate gives us a pair of seats in the packed bus. u lean yr shoulder against mine, told u to rest my head on the shoulder, you do it, but also for a while. i felt we were in a relationship. i told u i felt we were in a relationship but you said u don't feel that way, my heart did drop. i also told u i hope the bus won't have a final destination, just keep going. I really hoped.

nonetheless, all have a end. i took one last look at you before goodbye, exchanging our eyes.

today is a fairytale. i need to know what exactly my feelings are towards you, is it for real or just a sudden surge.

right now i feel, feelings have developed. what next will happen i don't know.

25 june 10, friday

Chapter 126

2010-06-10T23:53:00.003+08:00

woo, its been 6 months. i wondered if any ever read my blog.

thats not really important. today is is my last paper and i heading for my term break and my world cup at home!

i wanna blog about what we did today. We went to queensways to get some world cup fever. Being there, i always get a bowl of laksa. but i never try the curry chicken ever =.= really wanted to buy the japan home jersey with endo name on it -$120, no name- $80. All printing are set at $40 =.= ridiculous price.

ms told us opposite queenways, there's many good food. We all begin our 1 day tour =D saw this kueh stall, all patrons seems to be queuing up at this store while the rest are empty =.= decide to check it =)
indeed, overall i will give it a 7/10. i long heard of praise for jiu cai kueh, but i dont ever think i ate it b4, decided to try. not bad just that it been left out in the cold for some time, and the skin of the kueh really stick to the wooden chopsticks. tell u what, this kueh really is a appetizer and open up my stomach for more!

Next, is the ang gu kueh. a small round shape but its filling is really thick. Quite like the green tea flavour. tried durian flavour.

we made quite a few rounds of queuing up haha! in total: abt 4 rounds, 2 jiu cai kueh, 1 soon kueh, 4 ang gu kueh-2 green tea, 1 peanut, 1 durian =) total= $4.20 !

kuehs over talk is an enjoyment for relax! next go out for a walk. ms seems to know the area well, he recommended some stalls for us and also the duck porridge at harbourfront hawker. been to queensways many times, but fail to realise around it are also worth my time and walk!

10june thursday.

Chapter 125

2010-01-23T21:35:00.002+08:00

Its been a month since i last blogged.
today i'm didnt go to work, should have went! just 9 tables though at tuas, so far. Didnt know at first so rejected and went to play soccer for jun ming. so long since i last touched a football, afraid playing at cb, a very impt position. partner with kevin.
we are leading by a goal, until junming wanted to swop position with me. down by 4-1 by 45 minutes. Not blaming him lah, though he kept reasoning that he have no idea how to play cm. i felt, even so, shouldn't swop since kevin and i still doing ok. out int the 30+ minutes when an opponent kicked me hard in the feet, ba! the impart was loud, though i was able to replace the injured kevin at 2nd half, i still have to stop playing upon sustaining the injury during first half.
Final score we lost 4-6. had a shot on shot, but rather poorly hit though on target. i had another close chance but fail to connect, leg not long enough. i was like playing an offensive cb in the 2nd half. haha. Next week against a stronger team, i heard, should be playing cb again, but this match i played until like that.... more pressure...but money still talks,what if got work? should work or play ? or together provided playing in the morning though i hate it. i shall see, anyway i enjoyed myself today, soccer is still in my blood! basketball? bullshit!

230110 sat

Chapter 124

2009-12-11T23:08:00.002+08:00

The 1st half of the season is finished.
Dismayed. Its like playing in a football tournament in a group stage. I guessed my situation now, is like the bottom team. I felt i won no match and lose 4 of the six matches ?
Pick up my studies during this holidays.

Team Played Win Draw Lose
Engineering Math 1 1 0 0
Flash 1 1 0 0
AutoCAD 1 1 0 0
Applied Thermo. 1 1 0 0
Instrumentation 1 0 1 1
Tankerfamilisation 1 0 1 1
Loh Jing Kai 6 0 2 4

Chapter 123

2009-12-07T00:04:00.003+08:00

MST is here. I'm not ready but i can't escape. I hate it when mst are before the holidays. There isn't a lot of time to study, this has really deflats my motivation to study. No wonder i find myself no heart to sit down, dug in and mug hard in my little nice room.
No use grumbling or blaming the calender. No heart i may be but i still will try to hardest to concentrate for this week. A half-hearted smile.
Quote from me on Friday-' The end is near, but I'm afraid its just the end of the beginning.'

061209-sunday

Chapter 122

2009-11-22T23:43:00.002+08:00

Went to bbq at my lecturer's condo on Friday. 1st time in my years in poly that a lecturer did that. And its been really a long time since i last went on a outing with friends.
Some more my lecturer looked like a stern one, surprise me when he organise a bbq with everyone not having to fork out a cent =) Added on with 2 crates of brew. Nice, some more my favorite brew.
There is a girl that really caught my eye. Nvm, having seen her once in my life is enough, better than never. Overall it was worthwhile going. Another one ? I don't mind if possible. Coincidentally, my next day work place was in the area xD
And that day i provided directions for a lady( think from china) to the condo =)

Chapter 121

2009-11-13T23:44:00.002+08:00

Set on a bench on Tuesday. Xun min walked past. I stopped her walk and talk to her. Its like we never talk for 6 years but what are we doing now? Haha. Ask her how's her A-levels doing though that day is the first. She thanked me when i said highly of Vjc students. Offered her a handshake of all the best and parting words of take care. I don't wanna detain her further, she got important stuffs going.
Though just a few sentences conversation, I'm really happy that she did spare a bit of her precious time on this short conversation with me :)

Went to starbucks today. Its like ages since i last had any starbucks coffee. I ordered, i guess the cheapest drink- brewed coffee with nothing added. I like any things that taste bitter. This bitterness remind me though i added some suger in the end. Though this drink is plain and simple, but i like it. Maybe this will be my starbucks drink in future =)

131109friday

Chapter 120

2009-11-03T23:11:00.003+08:00

Think she went back home. Therefore, end of our story. Not really sad or what, quite normal. She went back 2 days earlier or maybe she trying to avoid me? Never mind though some doubts shall never see light again. But nonetheless, i wish you here, from my heart, happiness always.
3rd week of sch and i already feeling quite stress about this semester yet my gears haven't really kick-start yet. Soon i guess even if forced upon myself.
Come on, know your priorities and act them . . .

Chapter 119

2009-10-24T12:38:00.003+08:00

Went back yesterday to find her. Really for the last time? I guessed so...
She came to find me once but never came back whens she's gone. Guess she fed up with me cos i gave her attitude when she told me she go back to her other guys. That's why she never came back to find me. I thought she will come back...
But never mind cos during the only time she's with me, i told her that i was sad when she said she dislike me for talking too much(my purpose of going there).She said i was like a kid when i told her that i was really sad when she said she dislike me(if i heard correctly). And i also told her about Joanne and me. Hope she will understand me more through this, know what kind of person i am. But nonetheless, i still save some $ from her tips. Though i don't care about this money. But still i guess, she will leave with a bad image of me but I'm not going back again to change this image. I guessed its because of a clashed of personalities(maybe its fate that i met her) not because i treat her badly. My conscience is clear :) But nonetheless i still treated her with due respect just that some time i will give her attitude especially when she said she need to go away all this(i guess this the only time). I hope she will also look at my good points.
Shared tabled with a married guy, he came alone. Hope to see him there.
Stop for now, will update more maybe.

Chapter 118

2009-10-19T00:14:00.002+08:00

Tml school starts. Pack up my feelings and let the past be past. Or should i let some things get their decent burials? I don't know, should i just leave it like this? Or should i try to change her image of me before she leave and never come back? I think i will, really for the last time. Maybe its just that our characters conflict with one another. Who knows, but i don't wanna leave any regrets...
My friends say this semester is a hard one, but nonetheless, i have to go through it. Regardless of the end. I shall still strive to my utmost!

Chapter 117

2009-10-16T23:32:00.002+08:00

I'm very tired. My health's failing, i knew it. Went to v2 yesterday, got back today morning. I was drunk. 2 jars and a couple of glasses of martell. I find ah mi again, but i don't think i really make full use of my time with her though the time was rather short. She got a character of her own. hais, i'm too tried to blog really. Yesterday i met this kind soul, an auntie who offered me free tea to curb my drunkenness. I vomited many times. But really thanks for her, if not, i don't know how i can bear it to the morning.
I called her up today, apologised to her for making her angry. I asked if she dislike me. She said yes. Because i talk moo much, ask her many questions, she said. I really hoped that she understand me =( You are not an escort to me, but as a friend. I think i still have some unfinished business with her, maybe i will find her up again. Its stupid i know but i'm tired and lazy to blog why i'm doing all these and explaining my stupid thoughts here. Maybe next time i will come blog and add up on this post again.

Chapter 116

2009-10-13T02:22:00.003+08:00

Today went to work. Sometimes I'm think about it. I decide to ask Ya Er about it, i always think that she could enlighten me, and she didn't disappoint me.
She said that is I who needed companion and i saw her as someone who could provide that. Then she said that i shouldn't go and my thoughts are childish but she said its normal for someone like me. She said i had already set my mind to go but just that i have some doubts remaining. She said its right to do what u wanna do and leave no regrets. Yesterday i blogged that i was feeling terrible, i called her before i sleep. Indeed after a short conversation, i felt like as if a heavy stone have been dropped off. (maybe its right that i need companion and its her)
I think its set. Waste some $ better than leaving regrets behind even if the gains are few or nothing.

Chapter 115

2009-10-12T02:08:00.002+08:00

I'm really suffering now. I dont know what i'm thinking. I'm just confused. I told my a couple of my friends about it. They offered their thoughts. I felt they're right to some extent, but still, i dont think i found the right answrs to my thoughts. But still, i did feel better after telling them and credits to them.
Why am i thinking so much! One of them told me to follow my feelings, do what i want to do. Go find her and talk. Don't regret it. Some how true. At the same time, i questioned my stupidity, why am i suffering so much for just a person ? i wondered, but still, i think, i felt like seeing her and talking to her. is it because i pity her, miss her or do i need a companion(my friend suggested this point.(True to some extent))
Maybe I'm always like this. Maybe i should bear this out and in some time, i will forget about her and live normally. Or maybe should i just go and find her, and try understand why I'm doing these, in case of any regrets. (In my thoughts, i'm thinking of finding her, talking to her again, get her address, stay in contact. Once and for all. Readers should be now laughing at my stupidity)
Arhhhh, could any one help to understand my thoughts and analysis it? Oh God, i wish you could appear in my dream and tell me. . .

Chapter 114

2009-10-07T23:07:00.005+08:00

去了男人都会去的地方。起初，我尽情的俘虏她，毫不留情地。在这一晚之前，我从来没有女朋友，没动过一个女人，不知感觉怎样。看得出，那位小姐是呼怕了我。原来，女人的肉体，跟男人一样，只是多了一些肉？领悟了，也惭愧啊。。。我对她说，我之前都没有女朋友，没动过女人，所以请她明白我之前对她的所有举动。（希望她真的原谅我之前的所作所为）之后，我也多尊重她，我的手也变乖了很多，我也变得喜欢牵着她的手。跟她聊天，也了解了她的背景。从我们这个交谈，看得出她伤心了。真同情她们。。。有谁愿意离乡背井，做这个。问她做这开心吗，她说不。我叫她，这次做完，就不要回来，找一个好工做。她也说不会回来了。这，我对她说了至少几遍了，希望她会记得。一开始，我给她的印象一定是个坏人，但之后，可能经过我们的谈话，还有可能因为我的手也变乖了，所以她对我的印象变好了许多。可能，现在我在她心里是个好人。这就是可能为什么，在她走之前，对我说，“你保重”。这，我真心觉得，真的是她的真心话。起初，还听不懂，哈哈。我也叫她保重，好好做人。这，也该是，我和她最后的谈话和最后一面。

祝你幸福快乐开心。

06-071009星期二，三。

Chapter 113

2009-09-29T01:02:00.002+08:00

My results came out last wed, 23rd sep. I got a shock, for good reasons! I got 3.5 for this sem This the higher gpa i scored for a semester. OMG, OMG! Can't believe it! Seriously, really! My cumulative gpa improved from 2.7+ to 2.98! It would better if its rounded up!

(All)people says that gpa always keep dropping. But i prove these ppl wrong at least for once! Haha! It's nice! Some more those module which i didn't expect to get A, they got As in the end, like engineering mechanizes and workshop. Oh my, its like double happiness =D)

Maybe this semester is easier? That's why? I don't know and don't care. Even if next sem is more difficult, i will still, until the last moment, strive to my utmost!

There's still like 3 weeks holidays to go =.= a bit bored (really bored) but the time has not come for me to go enjoy yet =), bear with it for some more =) Its been long since i had a haircut! =))

Last sat, suddenly zhiqin msg me at 11+ to meet her for supper. Meet up at 1am. We actually got missing in sk, haha! Missing for 1hr! Haha xD This is like the 1st time i go out with a gal in some months! Would you believe it, but its true =))

280909 mon

Chapter 112

2009-09-19T00:27:00.002+08:00

Went to bugis on wed. Intend to check out psp at sony with guo hao. Later went to simlims, made a new friend- Dennis.
Better price than sony. But on my way there, we were poached by this face,body whatever company. She spotted my 黑眼圈和眼袋。 I didnt realise it at all! Shock! She persuaded until i did consider abt it.
Promised her that i will be back regardless my decision. Went back, agreed it. She said i was humorous, her colleagues also agreed, 讲义气 cos i came back. She told me she mixed blood with malay, didnt realise until she said. Then i asked her out of a blue, is it of my face condition thats why no gf, then she said my face 满好看的。 Whoo, confidence boost! Ask her if she's speaking the truth, she said yes. Maybe dpdp. Haha.
Maybe some time later i will go try the treatment.
Now hoping to earn more $, got some burden now but not serious at all, just my desires, haha!

180909friday

Chapter 111

2009-09-05T01:14:00.002+08:00

Whoo~ finally the end had came, be it hell or heaven. now its the time to let go.

Today i made some careless mistakes in today's paper- electronic. The day before the paper, i had to work, for its payback time. Couldn't sleep though tired. Rolling about until 3+am, 3 hrs later preparing to go sch, for the paper was at 9am =.= !
Had kfc in sch, my friends talked abt itp, they making me excited. A itp trip to china! Cool, work, learn, play and earn during itp. Right now, its wise to start saving. A itp trip to China is possible!

Back home after the paper, i'm preparing to go to work. Felt rather tired at times. Took 62 to hougang, took a walk ard purposely, got a reality shock!!! the field beside my previous high school had became a food court and a fair-price mart. I was really surprised. The previous time i went to hougang was a month ago? Maybe that time i wasnt observant enough.

Back home. Enjoying the chicken ginseng soup my mum left for me. Felt the motherly love, haha xD But really thanks, mum. This time, it tasted better, the fragrance was stronger and the soup was thicker, yumy!!! Extra incentive of 2 drum and 2 breast parts. =)))

Maybe mum knows i had late nights often nowadays due to exams and work, thats why the soup came today, haha xD Anyway, i cant wait for my results, i felt that i can improve my gpa though many said that gpa tends to drop, maybe this time my example can prove them wrong? I believe i can. While waiting, now its the time for me to concentrate on $! haha!

040909 friday

Chapter 110

2009-08-24T23:41:00.000+08:00

Its been a month since i lastttttt blogged.

Today is 1st paper- engineering mechanics. Before i went in, i had high hopes, really high, i'm aiming for a Distinction. Hais, the longer i sat in the room, my expectations kept dropping... Before i went out, my expectation was a pass only, i mean for the whole module, not the paper. They always say the higher u hope, the harder u fall. So maybe dont give yourself much confidence next time?

This's an early setback. A very hard, bring you hard back to earth and never- expected setback. Add salt to insult, this's the 1st of whats going to come. Maybe this will push one to work harder to do well in the coming papers or maybe this will encourage and provides excuses for one to stop working for the other upcoming papers. Choose one.

There's no time to dwell on this for the next one in looming. . . Heheeeeeeeeeee.........

240809 monday

Chapter 109

2009-07-23T22:38:00.005+08:00

Today's a funny, happy day for me? Haha... ;D

I used the new bag which i bought yesterday. Then after lesson, we took the lift. Its is just nice that i was standing beside a gal who also used almost the same bag as me, just different in material and a bit of the design that's all.

Then melyvn made fun of me saying that we used same bag and said that 'didnt i told u that gals use this kind of bag'. haha, i felt like telling the gal to ignore him, but i didnt. Maybe i'm becoming more shy nowadays, haha xD I took a peek at the gal, her head's down and smiling, i think she's a shy one too :D haha. I dare to say she's a pretty good catch, i mean in my eyes. She's tall for local gals. ;D

Actually i saw her last time in library and also realised that she's my friend's friend's classmate and somemore in the same school in the same poly. Will bump into one day, hope she still remembers me! haha xD Its nice to make one more friend :))

Though there is only 5 storeys for the lift to reach level one but it seem to take a longer time this time. My friends already helped me to break the ice, i just need to open my mouth... But when i also thought i should, i didnt in the end. . . Hais, its alright! Hopes she still rmb me. haha xD

Anyway, this is really. . . Right place and right luck that i stood beside her with my new bad in the lift and my friends breaking the ice.

I know myself, maybe after a week i think i will forget this and her. For now, maybe i will still recall this for this coming few days! haha xD

Chapter 108

2009-07-03T23:41:00.002+08:00

The exams over, i think overall, i will do alright, only for my 1st paper =.= Its alright! I shall look ahead!

Finally bought a pair of new bbc shoes- pro model on thursday after last paper. And some more @ 99 where outside sell at least 130. Wow, some more i didnt even ask for the price. He just give me 99. At first it wasnt in my eyes cos its like too high cut. Haha. I consider it, not bad. So i bought it.

Didnt regret it ;D quite comfortable and some more of the material- plastic. I Like It!

Today went to sing k. Very frustated because i didnt know how to go, marina square. Its like i been for for a couple of times only and i dont know where's it and the place is really big. Only 3 of us =.= if i knew, i wont go and waste my $ though its been long since i last sing and go out with friends. Later rush back to sk to play bb. On the way back, my friend said he not coming down =.=

Surprise that ht was there, thought he wont be here cos of work. Catch up with him. He left later. Thats it.

I felt playing bb is like wasting my time. Hais, study!!!!

friday 030709

Chapter 107

2009-06-24T23:13:00.004+08:00

Hais. So sad, sadded.

Sad that my team played almost like cowards. Dont be angry if you just read it. I just need you guys to be calm and play like what you been doing. Great till that team came in, and my whole team changed. I need you guys, its a team sport. Fight for one another, and i promise you wont be alone and regret. But just now, look like i'm fighting for you guys only. Lose we may, but at least we gave our best. But we didn't.

Finally saw get a chance to bump into her. But i thinks she can only disappoint me. (is that the only thing she can do for me?) Friends more important, i think. Or maybe you just showed me that. So what if you go pat my back when i just came, so what if you make me feel like u really did miss me and look forward me being here. What happen in the end. Disappointed, disappointment. For your friends, you forsake me. Hais, what can i do :)

Dont know why, i did'nt finish up my dinner. No appetite i felt. Though there is only 2 dishes- veggies and yong tao hu, and my plate of rice. Hais. Maybe because i'm disappointed with them or with her or maybe all. Hais.

240609wed

Chapter 106

2009-06-20T01:40:00.002+08:00

Its been quite long since i last blogged. I shall just give a quick update.

I went to sentosa on this wednesday with my 2Hum05 classmates. Total, there was 18 of us. Laying in the water, playing volleyball, simply just fun! Haha. I was moodless when night falls, i'm hungry. But still, its a good day, catching up with old friends as if we just met yesterday. I like the part when i ran up the beach from the sea. Thks to denzel for taking the pictures... Just like a marine storming up the sands of Iwo Jima. Haha, i'm thinking too much! Maybe i will upload the pic in friendster.

Today finally go for a haircut, a new style. The previous styles, just a bit different from the rest, making no difference. This time, the difference is more obvious, i felt. Catch up with ice, i think she has a model's requirements? I just feel so. Later headed down to bugis.

Went there to buy shorts. I think i need shorts, cant wear pants in hot weather =.=, though i have 3 already. I bought a 4th today at the hongkong auntie shop. Its make of cotton and recommended by her, quite comfortable. Good buy i feel.

Later went to play bb, ht wasnt here. Had a quite alright time? Maybe a unknown guy spoilt it? Haha, my fake then reverse, hot him up =D

Exams coming, i still dont think i'm ready! I will try my hardest!

190609friday

Chapter 105

2009-05-11T22:38:00.003+08:00

I injured my back from sunday. Its really a hell of a pain. However, i could only bear the unbearable... Freda was thee to provide some comfort by smsing.

Went to see the uncle just now. He assured me that i could exercise by wednesday. Unbelievable :D, but he said id nvr see doc, a month rest. . . So big difference o.0

I sad that i couldnt gave you present today. I went to look for one today. But i think i thought it out, i decided to make studies my priority. So i can only see u as a friend only... I didnt wanted to make this decision that only hurts me, at least you still could choose to accept or not...

I hope you like it and find it practical if i ever pass that to you :) Best wishes

I made a penpal yesterday! Haha :) Though she live in Singapore. My on9 friend asked me to be her penpal cos she finds it cool =.=(up to individual). Since i dont have a penpal, i wasnt against the idea also :) Try smg new :)) Its funny when she gave me her address after i asked- 'don't stalk me hor'. Haha, i wont, don't worry :) Sometimes she is adorable (up to individual) ;)

051109 monday

Chapter 104

2009-05-08T23:27:00.003+08:00

This is, i guess, my lousiest week! Many shit holes. Be it relationships, or whatever.

Here, i wanted to voice out, vent out all my frustration and whatever shit!

I'm sick from monday, till now i'm still sick cos of this flu. I dont think i ever felt better these few days.

I'm unsuccessful on the pitch. I failed to make it to the next round of sp soccer trials. I felt the trial was unfair. Whatever.

I felt that my doted sister is drifting away from me, i dont know its true or not. But that's what i feel :(:X I really doted on her like a real sister. Just because she thinks i shouted at her? I didn't shout, serious, maybe my voice gets a bit too loud. But seriously i 'shouted' at her cos i really care. Does she really understand? Maybe she is too young. . . Her blog only highlighted my bad, did she ever feel my genuine concern for her? I think she do feel it. I could feel her respect for me and i sincerely appreciated this.

Tonight at bbc, i waved at her to come over to me. I think she nvr saw these, not that she pretend. I believed her. Before going home, i wanna go koufu find her. I wanna pass her a 250ml carrot juice to express my apology for 'shouting' at her. I admit that day i was at fault. I saw someone i didnt like there. Thats why i nvr go find her. Fate let us meet tonight, but we nvr meet up face to face :(( Why there is no chance for me to express my apology?

I cant imagine if i'm no longer her korkor in her eyes. I hope this day wont ever come. I admit i do miss her but i'm sadden when i saw her with her friends. Cos i knew her coming over to me is very low. Sometimes i really felt that her friends and her basketball are a priority before me :(( I hope this is never true.

I hope whatever i said here, she wont be hurt, anger or any negative thoughts. She really dont have, dont need to change to accomodate me. If she does, i felt i have sinned. I just wanna let out all my steam, please dont change any thing of your life for me...I dont know she will come upon this post or not. But if she does. I wanna tell her that i really dote on you.

My Puli Jels. . . I'm disappointed with myself. I still dont have yr no. I lacked courage :( But i felt that i cant pass your friends' round :((

Maybe i have forgotten to post more shits that happen during this lousy week. If so, i will update.

080509fri

Chapter 103

2009-05-06T22:16:00.002+08:00

My last shot at Glory was not in the net but I don't know where it went. Whatever.

This definitely not the last for my still burning passion- soccer. Maybe I shall go to the sengkang punggol trials. In fact i felt, the failure to get into the next round for trials for the sp team and the information from one of my new made teammate, spurred me more to still go play soccer despite the fact that the commitments will be higher.

I felt relieve in the end. At least i went and try. A huge reverse. If not, i wont even know i can or not. Now i knew though the truth is always painful.

Whatever it is. Let me take a step at a home.

060509wed

Chapter 102

2009-04-19T23:19:00.003+08:00

I'm a bad guy today. I'm sorry, ma. I never said sorry to you once in my life, not because i never realize I'm in the wrong. It is that i don't dare to say it. I hate myself for this! I'm sorry!

Tomorrow school begins. Sick and tired of resting at home, raring to go! A new beginning, a step closer. Never forget last semester. Need to do, should do and must do for this semester!

Chapter 101

2009-04-12T03:17:00.003+08:00

This is my 101th post! But what i gonna blog later really, really spoilt it, a shameful wet blanket.

Guess what i saw just now when i went for supper, an Singaporean indian guy scolding a chinese women. I wasnt there earlier. I guess maybe he was fed up with her over language when he is ordering his food. As you know, the people from china, most do not understand or speak english.

He said, " china ar ! ". The woman retorted " YAAA!". He replied, " STUPID CHINA, STUPID!". I really wanted to step forward and ask him what's his problem. Though i'm singaporean, but i'm a chinese, my ancestors are from china too! That's not the case, i really wanted to remind him that HE HAD JUST THROWN OUR SINGAPOREANS' FACES AWAY!!! What a disgrace, and shame on him!

I wanted to like in a way to console the lady, like telling her to forget about this. But her colleague consoled her before me. And i guess she will really forget it as it isn't worth and remain strong in future :)

Actually i respected the foreign workers, be it indians, chineses, or others, who came here to work for having to leave their families behind. You may not like their way of living or whatever. But bear with it as they came from different cultural background, for they may not know or understand the local culture.

What i want to tell the readers are straight forward. Please treat anyone with respect regardless of anything, even your enemy.

Chapter 100

2009-03-26T22:08:00.004+08:00

Hello! I'm back from MEL camp yesterday! Its really great! The money spent were worth it! And this is my 100th post!

The speakers invited- Mr jeffrey Goh, Captain Short with Mrs Short and Mr Khoo(the man who climbed mount everest). I really gained much from them, especially Mr Goh. His talks did not really put me to sleep. His personality, his life and his talks, really taught me a lot. The 7-ups; wake, wise, look, reach, lift, fired and act, the 12 Es and E+R=O. His talks are always filled with interest, enthusiasm, inspiration, knowledge and laughter! Haha! :DDD And also fine dining!

Mr khoo. He always shared with us his expetitions. You will really respond with awe, even his photos. I cant really really all of what he said. But i remember one- Dare to Dream. I felt honoured to share these days with him.

I also learn from Mr Sugimoto Masa, the Japanese lecturer from Oshima maritime school(i dont really know the name of the school he and his students came from), his school and Sma are, i think, sister schools. He told me that Japan is still selling army officers uniform of WW2. Wow, i was excited when he told me that. I did ask him about Japan WW2 history, he did not know much and pat me on my shoulder that i know more about him. Haha. He really answered my queries to the best of his ability.

I also learn a lot from the np lecturer. Especially the course offshore technology offered by np. A bit of naval art is being teach in the course. Wow! Lastly, his experience of studying naval art aboard- Glasgow, Scotland! $100,000! From his looks, you wont believe that he studied naval art aboard! Don't judge people by looks!

The food ... I guessed was ok for the buffet which we most of the time settle our meals. The Bella Vista, the food is the best! High class restaurant, a dress code. We ate there for lunch on our first day, last night and last day early dinner. The food is the best for the last night. Maybe of the ambiance, like a candle light dinner and everyone looked really good. Didnt have a chance to visit the Chinese restaurant. All this places are foc.

The most memorable, i guessed should be the last night. Where we would dressed up and have dinner at Bella Vista. The 4 Japaneses students, especially the 2 girls really took great steps in dressing up, they looked beyond their ages but they were really easy to approach, a smile will do. Everyone looked really good, matured. Later that night, everyone took a group photo!

The most fruitful is visiting the engine room. Seeing is believing. This will really helps me! Really different from the simulator in school. The bridge also, though a glass wall stood between, saw how the captain and his staff navigate.

I also made a couple of new friends visited the casino too! Cool. I also played mahjong, a bit of basketball, swimming and the pub lounge. Took many photos but you have to go to my friendster to see them, hope my friends will send me soon!

Spent all my money and still own other people. I bought 7 shirts,1 jersey, 1 pants, 4 handicrafts and 1 other. I really liked some of the things i bought, some others are for my family. Spent more than S$100 at patong. The shop keepers really liked us, i mean our money. One offer me 1000 baht for a fake jersey though it looked quite real. A singlet for 600 baht, my friend bargained to 6 singlets- 150 each, imagine it! Sorry, if i did not bought any thing for you!

Really, i dont mind going again. But i really want to go for the exchange trip to Japan in future. Only 10 for this September. I can wait for other chances too! Even if i forgot to write about what i learnt from the camp, the speakers, what i did, i think they will forever be in my heart especially the speakers' words. Though many are strangers, i still enjoyed this camp and i'm grateful to be on board superstar virgo- 22th-25th march 2009.

I finally went to cut my hair today! I think i will cut shorter next time! haha

260309 thursday

Chapter 99

2009-03-20T03:07:00.002+08:00

Finally, the verdict is out! I made it. It was a D grade. Better than expected as i was realistic calculated that a D- or CP is more probable. Maybe it was my term test that contributed mostly. Hais... Maybe i learnt something from this- always expect the unexpected.

As most of the modules, i got better grades than anticipated. Like my applied mechanics, Mek, Bst and programming, i was shocked and surprised. But my gpa dropped. Expected.

Went to watch SAF against Suwon Samsung Bluewings. I cant imagine my mood to go for this match if i didn't make it for my results. Haha. The match was good. The goalie and chaimen. (dont know got his name correct?) Marked by 2 Suwon players when he got the ball but they seemed cant win the ball back. The goalie made many well saves to deny the visitors before a penalty at the 65th min. The game was over when they struck in the 71st min.

Today was match, didnt have a good sleep, a couple of hours, though i tried sleeping very early. Big loss- 6:3. Had one good chance, a free header, but i served it a bit too wide -.- I looked forward to more!

I'm really looking forward to my trip this sunday, especially after the results are out :D This will by my 1st oversea trip, believe it or not but i havn't started my packing yet . . . =.= haha :D

18, 190309 thursday

Chapter 98

2009-03-17T23:20:00.003+08:00

As i type, the clock ticks, i'm edging towards my unknown fate.

This may be my last night, i dont know if i'm prepare to face any result tomorrow. I guess i shall know it when i wake up tomorrow.

I guess regardless of my decided fate, a heavy, heavy boulder shall be dropped into a bottomless sea tomorrow. Relief, be it good or bad. Move on regardless, just maybe it should be tougher against bigger obstacles without my trusted and wanted buddies in class in future! I will cry at this! Whatever.

I wanna have one last good sleep. The calm before anything? Haha. Maybe i may not be brave enough to accept it, face it. Whatever, tomorrow then say. For now every thing is just maybe!

170309 tuesday

At noon, I witnessed the cherry blossomed.
By midnight, I shall bear witness to the falling petals.

Chapter 97

2009-03-10T23:54:00.002+08:00

I finally went to return that camera at my previous school. But heard that he did not work there anymore, cant contact him, change number. Though i returned it, i feel bad keeping it with me for so long.

If not for the family photos, i think i would use it for my use? I don't know.

However, if not for the photos, i may not be able to recognize the owner of it. How coincidence that i picked up a camera that belongs to someone i saw before, but never knew who he was. Haha, maybe this is life and what goes around comes around! Haha. I will happily and willing take this as doing a good deed though i really do feel some bad for keeping it for so long! Hope he wont be angry at this :)

100309 tuesday

Chapter 96

2009-03-04T23:32:00.002+08:00

Saw cheng han wei today at koufu. They were filming.

I saw that sister again! Dont know whether she coming to play this friday or not. Still smiles, ask me where my that friend is; ht. Haha, trademark moves.

Nice to see her again, her other friends may wonder how come there are smiles and laughter between us. The game became relax. But this the only 2nd time i saw her. She left early but this time i think i can remember how she looks.

I hope in future there will be smiles and laughter between us and their friends, though i admit its getting better compared to the past. Hope to see her again. She really... 有魅力！haha :D

040309 wed

Chapter 95

2009-02-25T23:42:00.002+08:00

Today went to catch 2 movies- of the same era- defiance and valkyrie at shaw house. Only that theatre is still showing defiance which i wanted to catch but due to exams. I almost gave up searching for this movie. How come only 1 theatre is showing that movie when is it just 3 weeks, going to 1 month old.

Thought the defiance movie hall will be packed with some people only, but when i went in, it's half-filled, not bad. Some angmohs were there too.Nonetheless, i didn't regret catching these 2 movies.

Defiance left me deep impressions in the difficulties they faced, how they overcome it and the marriage, especially in this difficult times and place. However i'm wasn't sure if everything showed is true according to facts. More worth it if it is as i had watched the real thing. Then for valkyrie, though a bit draggy but if it showed the real thing, which i think so, will be worth it- for me. I did learned of this plot when i was surfing the net last time, that time i was interested in world war 2 germany, that's why.

Yesterday, exams ended, dreams shattered, fears looming. But i still believe that i have to move on though it would be a hard blow if i have to forward this module. I will try my hardest to forget my fears and stop all worries and thoughts. Enjoy everyday before that letter arrives, pray and hope all will go according to my wishes then i can have a more happy time for that trip! Just a few days after that letters come, i wished for a happy trip and enjoyed every bit of it!

Play soccer after exams. Play goalie for the last period, back to my old position but i believe i will be rusty due a long time of neglect, maybe a couple of years. Shocked you may be, but i decided to try, no harm and the grassy penalty box unlike dessert-like pulled me to it. I realised its still in me, enjoyed all of it! Think i will be back in that post but hope it will be a grassy penalty box. Haha.

25fed09 wed

Chapter 94

2009-02-16T01:27:00.003+08:00

Chengliang said that he saw u today. Yr station was just beside his.

Imagine if i were there, will you still bowl? Haha. Imagine if you recognize that chengliang is my my friend, will you still bowl? Haha.

Well i guess it was fate. If I'm there, i will be damn upset and unhappy that i spoil yr mood and yr friends'. I'm glad that I'm wasn't there, you didn't recognise my friend and me hearing about you.

He said that yr position was nice, i don't really know which better word to describe other than position. Also that you scored 100+ pts, not bad he said. I asked him if you have the strength to bowl, he said you can and with a 8 pounds. Not bad, maybe you have gained strength.

I'm glad to know you are pretty good in bowling and i guess that's something you enjoy and are good in. Take care. For I have heard about you while you have not realise it. That's good enough.

15th fed 2009 sunday

Today is sunday, today is also the day singapore surrendered. On 15 fed 1942, it was a sunday. 67 years later. Same date, same day.

Chapter 93

2009-02-07T00:40:00.002+08:00

Today is a good day? At least not bad. Play much basketball. Most notably is ht and mine combination run- pass. Dont know how to explain, but its the best produced i should say in our games together. Not once but two times. Off the 4 matches at the court 1, won 2 lost 2. Last 3 matches so near...

Then we go to court 2, played against the gals. Not easy, mostly familiar faces. Not the simple gals you see. I think their attitude of us changed lately, maybe our actions not as rough? Should be. This gal, i nvr played against is strong, i mean physically, taller than avg. What really impressed and left me a deep impression was she has 魅力though her looks are avg? Ordinary?. I know she's older than me but there's no wrong in me saying these.

During the match, ht wanted me to play better. The gal said something like 'i dont get what he means but i think u are doing well' and gave me a pat on my back. Lights off at her shot as the last, she turned back and shook hands with my team, asked her what she said and i got it right. Shook her hand again the went over to her side and shook hands, ask some of the familiar if we are more gentle, one said got improvement. Haha. From the way they shook hands, can tell they like us more. Maybe?

Maybe she got a good impression of me, haha. Same here. Sometimes remember the beautiful things we saw though it is ugly within. The only bad thing is she smokes. Well, not everyone is perfect?

Worked last weekend, received a hong bao from a customer. She said must take cos its new year. Ask her why, she said i'm hardworking. O really?! I thought. When i went to the other table to collect the feed back form, the angmoh said they gave me top marks for my everything. Well, i told him i think my performance is lousy. Maybe angmoh are generous but seriously i felt its lousy.

Let me think of her till i woke up tomorrow.

friday 020609

Chapter 92

2009-01-31T00:39:00.002+08:00

Today went watch the " Wedding Game" with Joey. Cos we're on the same boat? Haha, dont know how to explain.

Hais, but have to miss Mr Joseph lecture. Seriously i enjoyed his lessons due to his open personality and humor. He always keep me interested :)greeted him this morning, i'm guilty when i saw him cos i wonder what he will take of me when he didnt see me later. But i guess, scarifices have to be make.

I think i give it 3 stars out of 5? Depends how u see it :)Talking to her not bad lah, can laugh, knew more about her lor. Next time, if on the same boat again. Haha.

Tml going back to work! Finally, first since this year. Need money! For my hibernetion during the coming holidays. But cant work long, cos exams coming! Hais, will someone, some thing, some god or some whatever gives me the power to study! I really need it. Thanks many!

friday 300109

Chapter 91

2009-01-20T22:21:00.002+08:00

I'm 18. But i took 9 days later, until now to blog abt it. Eh,i think i wont blog abt that day only.

That day ... I went for work but i was taken a ride around 2 times before i finally reached the right place. The only guy there, with 2 aunties, 10- meter stairs to climb. Imagine the moving of stuffs up and later. Hongbao was 10. That day, i felt the best present was a packet of cold green tea, thanked the organisers, they were kind. Asked for something to drink after all the moving of stuffs down, ready to go home.

Only some ppl wished me, thanked you for it. Though i thought everybody had forgotten me but i thought to myself, it's better and harmless to know no one remembers it.

Then i think i got nothing left to blog or either i forgot what to blog. But i still can remember today.

Today is your birthday. I sent you a message this morning to wish you since i still got some time left before leaving home. I was afraid i might forget about it later if i dont do it now. It didnt bother me if you would even reply or even, even read that message. I just sent it cos i'm really sincere in wishing you. Now as i blog, i still can remember how surprise, shock, anxious i was when i saw a message you sent me. I thought about what it will say. I still took a look at it, no matter whatsoever later. I was warmed by it, 'thx' you replied. No matter how insincere it was or whatever it was or maybe you was just being polite only. I was really happy to see that 3- letter word. No doubt that i still remember you or yearn to be friends again or even think about you. Ok, stop here before i flood this post with my hidden and bottled emotions for you. Once again, i wished you have a very good year ahead, be happy :)

20 jan 09 tuesday

Chapter 90

2008-12-16T23:21:00.003+08:00

Finally, finally, finally!

For the 3rd time i began my quest to realise this, i finally realised it. MANCHESTER CITY FOOTBALL CLUB JERSEY!

When i got there, i did not head to that shop 1st but to the nike shoes shop. That pair which i wanted is still there. But not my size, reluctance at first but took the other last colour- grey cos still got my size. But i think and feel its acceptable lah, since shoes are usually easy to match. Lucky got ask got promotion for christmas or not. They checked- 20%! Whopping :))Finally own a pair of non-high cut nike shoes, like it cos its use straps instead of laces. Unique i feel- the reason and i feel i should have a pair of non- high cut shoes.

Then i head to that shop, i saw it immediately! Not only the home, the away's there too! Compare them, away better than home though home seems better on tv, ... Decide not to print on away, dont match, may turn out uglier. Save money also. Since the away's overall isnt bad, shouldn't make it worse :)

Then went underground. Bought a piece of pants and shirt. Spend a lot at there. But lucky nvr print and for the 20% discount.

Oh, finally. I own one after many years of loyalty, mcfc jersey. When i scan it with my eyes at night, the design isn't bad, didnt regret. Finally.

161208 tuesday

Chapter 89

2008-12-08T01:01:00.003+08:00

7th December, a date which will live in infamy, 67 years later. Not for the americans only. And for me also, 2008, Sunday.

I saw you. Fate really answered my prayers and hopes. Even for work. I guessed you saw me first and try to hide. One peek at yr lower half of the face, i knew its you.

When you sat down, i came to face you. And you said you dont know who am i when i asked. The truth is not impt. But when i asked why you done all that to me, you just keep saying I dont know. No, its not, maybe you just dont wanna tell me.

I asked you to at least readd me in msn, maybe we can just be on9 friends only, but you said you will add me, you said you still have my msn. I dont believe. I took out my hp and asked for yr msn, you declined. I said to you, you wont add me in msn, am i right? You nodded yr head.

I asked how are you all this while, which school you going next. You answered all promptly. Thats what i dont understand. Maybe you answered all this due to fear, should be. But i dont care!

I left, i know you dont wanna know my presence, or hear my voice anymore. At least i still can saves our blushes.

I thought i will nvr see you again later. But i'm wrong, we walked past one another. Even after work, i still saw you. Even when i left for mrt i still saw you. Thats the last. Maybe in my lifetime.

But like i said before, if we can be friends again, i really wont reject that chance.

During work, i asked my female friends and they all said that i should be liking you, i dont know of my own feelings. Maybe true. When i'm blogging at the same time after reaching home, i asked another of my female friend, she said most likely cos i treat you like a good friend. Possible and sensible cos coming out from someone of the same age.

At least got some condolences. Make some new friends. Those female friends and some guys. And getting to serve many people, Chinese from around the world, i served Cambodians and hong kongers Chinese. They are really friendly. Really need to learn Cantonese. Surprised that Cambodians Chinese have good command or mandarin. Next week at expo, need more people. Please help!

7th December 2008, Sunday.

Chapter 88

2008-12-04T23:47:00.003+08:00

Today is my last day of school. And i'm looking forward to this holiday, with good reasons. I think i will at least do ok for the impt modules for my mst, something that i didnt achieve last sem, when i fail thermo, engineering drawing, impt modules, having to slog it out at sem exams. Regretted it. Then for the not so impt, i'm not sure but i think i will pass all. Thats the reason why. I dont need to fear and worry till school reopen.

I feel that during these 3 weeks, i shall be kept busy, most of the time at least for the 1st week or should i say from tml to the end of next week- making money. Then for the rest of the holiday - making money, and maybe kelong stays then i dont know. So maybe there's little time for my own, enjoy, relax, going out with friends and so on. But i hope i at least can have time to cut my hair and play some field soccer!

After the last paper today, my class and class24 went for a football match like last semester. But the rain.... But we still play in the rain at the stadium ard 3 plus. Understrength, - 14 players in a field. But playing in the rain, is really fun, getting wet and muddy. i played for my class in the first half, we were leading 1-0 at break. Then during the start of 2nd half i changed side and we were losing 5-1 but in the end we scored 7 to lead before they grab some consolations, but still lost. Maybe they were drained when 2nd half continued. Seriously, soccer is still my passion while playing bb regularly is just like something to pass time.

I hope i can earned enough to buy that 2 wanted stuffs by the end of next week... That pair of nike shoes and Manchester City jersey! And maybe that kelong trip.

thur 041208

Chapter 87

2008-11-11T15:15:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, i feel and think that i really saw u, since a long time. Just when i stepped out of the train at Outram.

I wasn't sure its you or not. Physically abt the same, but the face is a great doubt but alike. I dont think its you, cos u wont be smiling at me when we made eye contact as i walked towards the stairs for what you done to me. On my way, i think and i analysis. The train you going to take, your physical appearance, the braces..... I really think and feel its you, just the face.

I blamed and wished i could think at that time, stop and ask if its you. If its really you, i shall regret. Cos this is maybe the only and last chance fate give me to ask you why you had done all this to me silently and without a trace... If it isnt
you, then maybe i still have that one chance fate may gift me...

But as i asked myself in the end. Is it really her or not will matter to the fact that we are strangers now or all the things that had happen? But in the unpredictable future, if we can be friends again, real friends, i wont reject this chance, i will take it with both hands with gratitude.

I wished i could bump into you regardless it was you or not yesterday. This time i will stop and ask...

101108 Monday

Chapter 86

2008-10-26T00:47:00.002+08:00

Today, finally dyed my hair plus cut. Brown green i think. Got promotion, $95. Talk with ice. To dye, u really need to wait a long time. Haha. I felt, i'm better looking after dye. :)

After it, i was trying to buy a pair of shades. Cant find, only nearly. Then walk to bugis to catch tropic thunder, but in the end, u-turn back to plaza sing for home. Bump into weiyang going back to plaza sing, he cant recognize me, he's with his gf. Maybe i change alot. I admit and i felt i really changed in appearance. Its up to u guys to think. :)

Yesterday night, i made some new Korean friends. They are just kids, girls, 4 and 7. But they are really very adorable! Serious! Korean kids are really cute. To me, i feel. I hope to see them again! See you, little kids, u will make my day, i'm sure!

251008

Chapter 85

2008-10-13T00:42:00.003+08:00

I'm going back to school in hours time. I don't know how i feel towards this fact. Both reluctance and determination. A new beginning, maybe the turning point in my life, maybe i will change.

Reluctance as in i hate to study, seriously.

Determination to do more, do better. I think i don't want to be the Jing Kai of now. I hope i can change. Maybe i can compromise, 2 faces of me, maybe in the end, only the old Jing Kai remains.

大哥是对的！我应该，必须，一定要永远记得这句话！大哥，那晚所对我说的话都是为我好的！虽然，可能到最后，我什么都没有改变，什么都没变。但我愿意去试！现在的劲凯没什么。。。我希望，我会努力，我能努力，我肯努力，我能做到。

My gpa is only 2.9, this sucks for a year one's first semester. Many people or most people said that the gpa gonna drop as u keep going up in poly. I wish and wanna be one of the few ones who break this trends. Thats my target, resolution. Even if i only improved by 0.01. Unexpected results do happen when i got back my result. Thermodynamics scoring a B+ though i failed mst-the biggest surprise. I maybe should tell myself- See, i can do it!

121008sunday

Chapter 84

2008-10-03T00:23:00.002+08:00

Today's dinner treat was really wonderful and enjoyable. Standard 9 dishes. The boss treat us to this dinner to thank us for the contributions for the 7th lunar month. Not just us waiters, the kitchen staff and the factory though i nvr saw and knew a single face from the factory.

Enjoyable when everyone sang tgt the song ‘当你孤单，你回想起who?' dont know the pin yin for that character. There were only for teens there, out of 6 tables. Looking forward to the next. :)

021008 thursday

Chapter 83

2008-10-02T01:03:00.002+08:00

Wore contacts for the first time. Finally. 30 minutes to put them in, what a chore! haha. Went queensways, bought 2 t shirts and an adidas singlet. They were on my wish list. Finally, again today. Like the singlet, for its design. It wasnt on my wishlist but when i got there, it caught my eye though its plain but simple? so i didnt bought the one that was on my wish list.

Saw LA Galaxy away team beckham jersey. Better than the home kit, maybe dark blue is better that white. I always respect him. But i dont support man u and england. Ppl may think Beckham made his mark through looks. But these ppl are damn wrong. He really got what it takes. He dont do fancy moves like some right-wing players. Thats him for what i respect and admired.

Finally mc jerseys coming! But next time. Gonna buy them. Its time to wear one and show ppl i'm a loyal and fanatic fan of MANCHESTER CITY FOOTBALL CLUB!!! FOR 7 YEARS, FINALLY! Thought my contacts dropped or what cos a bit blurred, but i went toilet to check, its still there.

Tml boss treating us to dinner again not gonna miss it!

011008 wed

Chapter 82

2008-09-05T00:11:00.002+08:00

Today is just the fourth day of holiday but i'm already ...

Since i begin my holiday a few days earlier cos finish exams. Yesterday went hair profile. Stylist Ice, i think she do a good job. Good massage and service. Know more abt her. I think its better to develop our relationship as friends not just customers and employee relationship, nvr ask her abt it.

This time, she let her hair down, wear heels, should be. She's more feminine. This time, i feel, letting her hair down, when she smiled, she looked like joanne. Memories flooded me. I wont treat her as a substitute for her, wont, this isnt fair. I will treat just like a friend.

Thought she's singaporean, but she's malaysian. She doesnt have the malaysian chinese accent. Always had a good conversation with her every time i went for hair cut. See her again, wish her well. :)

I think i will really buy contact lens now. But i'm always lazy to do so. Hais. Hope i can do it.

040908 thursday

Chapter 81

2008-08-30T00:39:00.002+08:00

Today sweat a lot. Enjoy it, especially with ht and cl. The gals are the offering for our enjoyment. I'm sorry to say this, we are sorry if we hurt any of you with our type of play but u all offered too much resistance. One of these gals is smart, she could tell what we are trying to do. ' dont go out, dont follow them, let them run.' Shocked us when this came out of her mouth Ht and i were both shocked, for the first time someone can tell what we are thinking, credit for her, see you again :) Win straight to lights off.

Exams over, dont know what to do. Lucky i slogged it out at min sern house. Own him starbucks, credit for him. Never regret that i slogged it out though i'm darn lazy, though in the end i got a few qns dont know and the paper is more difficult than expected. Play soccer after that. Have to play in field cos court going maintainence. Should have bought my boots, but never though i thought of that. Find that i can still play :) though abt 18 mths of absence from it. Then i realised my passion is still burning! Play striker- scored a volley, spectacular they said, and 3 more. Had a good game.

Yesterday went tanjong pagar for work. Ht is right. Offices gals. The kopitiam not bad. Can find some recommendations stalls from food programs. Tried the japanese cuisine, not bad, fried to just nice :) had peanut ice kacang there, quite different from normal. spent total 5.5 there. Cheap.

Yesterday night i received a msg from her. Darn shocked and sad. Sad not that u tell me these. Sad that i cant even have a chance to woo u, u just dont even bothered to give me a chance. Why? Dont tell me there's better gals out there, to me, this is a consolation. I hate consolations! Cos they can only make my heart feel better, they cant change things that have happened. I dont need my heart to feel better. To rub salt into my wound, i think that msg is not typed by you, that make my heart even worse. Dont worry i wont hate u. I prefer u to be straight forward. And lastly, no consolations, just bring the sword to me and let me go to heaven with just one clean break. I will thank u for it cos consolations are useless.

I even feel that u are blocking me in msn after u sent that msg. Cant we still be friends?

290809 friday

Chapter 80

2008-08-11T00:40:00.002+08:00

Today my day is, i dont know how to describe. Lousy but in drowsiness happiness. Went to work, but only get 36, sian, cos i nvr wake up to call? Stupid i think. Lousy cos a asshole got drunk and slamming glasses onto the ground, reason- drunk, think so. Attract much attention. Then another different conflict began at another table near by. Drag... Drag the program, causes me to think i miss the last bus. The board say last bus is 2338, when i reach that bus stop, already 1245, think miss liao, thinking about going friend's hse to stay overnight. But lucky it came. Went home.

Drowsiness happiness, cos i drunk beer and i know i'm sort of getting drunk. Its wrong to drink beer during work but i dont care. I ask the beer aunties to top up my glass. I always left that glass half- fill with orange :) The aunties always top it up, full. They turn me drunk. I prefer drinking beer mix with a soft drink. While clearing up, i stagger a bit.

And i met the uncle selling western food at rm, he selling at the kopitiam near the venue. Orh, he working at both places but more at pasir ris. Talk with a bit.

Then yesterday happen a stupid thing. Have to ask number from a grp of gals playing bb opposites. I didnt want. But they say losers go ask numbers. I dont want and nvr agree but i didnt dare to object. You know some ppl are... And childish also, they think every guy is like them =.= Even if i want ask number, the gals also not my type for friends. Ask this gal, she ok looking. When i asked, can tell she's shy. Thats cute. I told her to help me and i will delete her number after this. She helped me, thks :) 2 stupid overage childish sons of bitches

100808

Chapter 79

2008-08-08T00:14:00.002+08:00

The battle will soon begin and i have to fight this time. There will be no escape, surrender is out of question. I'm feeling quite low confidence for the coming exams. I think tml paper- engineering drawing =.= i dont fancy my chances a lot cos i failed in mst. whatever it is, i promise to give my everything, even at last minute. No surrender. Also, i promised someone to go for tml paper and for myself. The last chance to prove, to myself that i can conquer this painful module.

Not only for tml paper, but for every paper in future. The other 2, thermo and maths, wait for me, i will come. But i still have to admit, i still need ppl to motivate me to study, not just now, but in future also. No surrender, persistently and gallantly, until the very last moment.

070808

Chapter 78

2008-08-03T23:18:00.002+08:00

260708

I dont dare to give u an answer cos i'm not sure of it too. I'm afraid its like before, i hate it. So i guess i need time to confirm my feelings towards you. But its true i wanna talk to u, be with u. Quite obvious? I still dont dare to give an answer.

我只想要靠近，要在你身旁，要在一起。

Exams ard the corner, knocking my door, but still, i havnt done anything abt it. I know i need to study, i want to. On mentally i want, not physical. Can someone pls motivate me to study? I really need help. I will hate to forward any modules. Pls bless me.

030808 sunday

Chapter 77

2008-07-12T00:29:00.003+08:00

To the Garrison defending the island,

The enemy we are going to fight,
Is technically and tactically superior.
However, I'm quietly confident that
We could make these up by our Yamato Spirit.
Noting the brave men I had under my command,
The main objective of our defense is to
Fight for time, not victory.
Fight for victory, only if possible.
To realise these,
I need every warrior's trust and obedience,
To listen and carry out my commands.
Even if we're defeated,
But so long as we achieved our main objective,
It would be a victory.
Our souls will race to heavens.

From your Lt- General

The battle. I'm happy with the whole team's performance, they defied the odds, we fought for at least 30 minutes, though we were beaten in the end. There was only 3 of us, no further options. Looking at my team, everyone will write us all, in fact in the end they are right. But they needed at least 30mins to destroy us, much more than they expected. Thanked my teammates in listening and carrying out my orders. Yr trust in me was all i need. You all have fought well. I'm happy that we delayed them. Through out the match i even dream of victory even when 2 higher superior gals were sub in. My hopes only dimmed, much to the guy sub in place of his wounded comrade. 11- 8. Worthy good opponents, but lousy winners who are sore, maybe much due to our unexpected performance :)

The end.

To the remaining brave warriors,

This campaign is coming to the end soon.
Further higher superior enemy had reinforce
Their struggling, yet still superior comrades.
We are weary and have no hopes of reinforcements.
However I am honoured to announce to all of you,
That we have successfully achieved our main objective.
We have delayed the superior enemy,
For at least, a unexpected 30 days.
To be exact, a proud -37 days.
You all have fought well,
Courageously, in the face,
Of the barbaric and superior enemy.
Continue, to inflict much damage to the enemy to the last.
And to put up unexpected resistance to the very end.
I promise, that our souls will race to heavens.

From your Lt- General.

The last radioed message to the Imperial Headquarters,

Your Loyal Army,
On this Lonely Island.
Has successfully,
Completed defense for
The Home Islands.

I know its been a long time since i last blogged, so i gonna update what happened while i'm MIA. i failed 2 of 3 mst. :( very disappointed, but can say i deserve it? I dont know, up to u to judge. Fail them when i'm expected myself to pass them. Laziness and carelessness. Today i went catch Red Cliff with Min Sern, not bad. My conclusion is, u will realise that 2 and 1/2 hrs pass so fast that u will wonder if the movie, part 1 is 2 and 1/2 hour long. Try to get the meaning of my conclusion. I will catch part 2. Not trying to boast that i commanded my defense and teammates well, but i seriously think i can lead ppl. The gals team, hais. forget abt it. Watch out if i nvr wear spects again. so u think this's already hell, think again, much worse :) If ht is here to witness my command and he also agreed that i could lead ppl in the right and best way, i will be the happiest person going to sleep tonight. If u were my teammates, if u came much early, i bet the gals has 2 hells to face, a much heller- hell :) So may that day come, and we shall see, we shall laugh tgt xD xD.

Heard from my classmate, the exams in a month time? if so, better catch up on lost ground and stop being lazy! some one pls assure that i study! I dont wanna forward module!

110708 friday.

Chapter 76

2008-06-20T01:58:00.002+08:00

After a week back from btc then i blog abt it. I gonna do a short and fast summary.

The hall was enough. I now then realised what this camp was going to be like. I admit that it gonna take some time for me to get use cos this the first time i'm in an uniform grp. I felt i got use to it straight away. Damn that i fall down, that stupid slope. I felt like just lying there, not getting up. I think i could have slept to the next day on that spot. Later light sticks were placed at that spot where i fall.

Day 2- Day 3. More activities. Hate the mud after it. Sticky and itching. Full battle order. I still can hang on. That nvr did much damage to me. I had an hr+ sleep then fire drill at 3am. Wore my shirt opposite. Didnt change, no time to. Later, extensive blah blah. Have u ever did 250 Buddha claps? We did. Took a tour later. Lucky pt was lax. Didnt feel like eating breakfast, sleep occupied my mind. After lunch, the real battle begins. Operation SHIT. I wouldnt tell u much. Whose been through it, whose witness it, whose, only know abt it. 100 squats. We cried, i cried. ' Guys, u can do it!' Xin wei cheered for us. Its hard for her, her injured knee :( Her encouragement really push me all the way, i can rmb it, what abt u guys? That blue scarf and woggle! We hug side by side, tight and close. Buddies and friends forever. Our seniors(instructors) join us, it made me feel more comfort. I bet some of them cried too. The night finally come. When the scarf and woggle were put on, i was proud cos my uniform is finally completed. So hard we fight for. Hands were tired after shaking a round of hands. Felt a bit unwell. Ate some only. Otherwise i could have complete with nav and galvin. haha. Had a good sleep, finally, though not enough :)

Miss pt, thought we will be scolded. No, instructors asleep too. Have to pack up, tiring work. Back sch, have to pack clean up equipments. The sun was scotching, its a good chance to ton my body(the fairer parts) but it make the other parts more tan :( Back home. Rush to make it for gathering. The last to arrive, sorry for being late! Only a few didnt come. xD Enjoyed myself.

Thursday 190608

2008-06-03T00:16:00.005+08:00

Wa, today go sch revise, but seems that i forgot everything.

Then later go watch soccer match with min sheng and charlton. Just a few minutes, they scored already. Then we equalise back. S'pore awarded a penalty when the score is 1-2. I felt that the palyer should be send off as he's the last men? The score is 2-2 after 25 minutes? Then the slaughter began. 2-5 by half- time. Lame goals conceded by lame defending. The battle is over, just a battle for pride on home soil, something to salvage.

The battle, truly over, when they scored again. 2-6. Then we got one consolation.
but they buried us after they hammered the final nail into our fine coffin, 3-7.Thats it the loyal singapore supporters left, we left too. There's still some minutes to mop up on the field. The only credit we can take is we are first team to score against them in their 2010 world cup qualifying and they took 3. Take heart from it, cos it means we can score just let our defense is a sudden death, a real tragic.

God bless lebanon beat the saudis :)

020608 monday

Chapter 74

2008-05-21T22:52:00.002+08:00

Just now was on the phone with xin wei for about, nearly 45 mins. Good to hear that the cup is fine ar and that u like it. Hey, rmb to use it ok! Haha :)Up to u actually, haha. It was a nice talk with u lah, know more about u. I hope there will be more to come!

Then today went to queenways. I think i will buy some clothes from there soon! Looking towards to having some more additions in my wardrobe :) I think i gonna buy Austria euro jersey- $95! My friends think i ... Nvm ok! I support the host, can?! I actually wanted to buy Poland's away red jersey but the store says only home jerseys. I saw one at the other shop! But its not the euro 08 edition! Hais, otherwise i would have bought it. I like full red jerseys, that why i chose Austria, full red, unlike czech, blue collar and Switzerland, if i rmb correctly, a white collar. Go Austria!

But today's workshop i find it hotter and more dangerous too! Cos more sparks fly ard, explosion could be heard, and u wont even know if its caused by u or not! Haha. they are not caused by me, but by other ppl, not yr fault ppl! I understand! Been that, done that! Its like a battlefield. But i tell that i was very happy to hear from the lecturer that my foundation almost there or there already! I was the slowest, i think. I enjoyed each workshop, i think in future i will feel the same too even though i know the going will get tough. I wont give up this. I will sail with the ship one day to see the world! :)

But today when playing basketball, an accident happen. I tear my upper lips. It bled a lot and i was in pain. But now, the pain has gone :) Sometimes its good to shed some blood, so that yr body can produre red blood cells. Red blood cells are good for body! (the above information may not be reliable, any consequences shall not be held responsible) Ok, thats it :D

210508

Chapter 73

2008-05-20T22:44:00.002+08:00

Today's is someone's birthday! Xinwei!!! But today i was quite ..., dont know how to describe it ar, i just wanna pass it to u asap, i doesnt want to keep having it by my side! I want it to return to its rightful owner! haha xD

I hoped when u open it, its still in good condition cos u dropped it! I hope u will like it ar, even its not practical to u. 这是我的一点小小心意，希望你会喜欢！Enjoy today to the fullest! Lastly rmb, to study hard too! Haha, best wishes! Happy Birthday again! xD

Wa, the engineering test the teacher gave today made me realise that i'm very slow! I need at least 1 more hour to complete! At least 1 more hour you know! You know?! (Anyway i didnt know how much time i took) This made me so tired, thats why when i met u later, i hope u didnt find me listless haha. Very late then reached home, 930 cos got cca. I enjoyed myself every pt till now lah. I think in future it will still be enjoyable. I ate a really really full dinner just now. Hais, cnt straight away go sleep, otherwise the food will become fats! So use the comp a while lor. Haha xD

200508 tue

Chapter 72

2008-05-19T22:43:00.002+08:00

Today is holiday. Good to rest. Finally got time to go out! Almost alone again. This time jj accompany me. Finally i could watch speed racer! Zhiyan, its a pity that u say u dont wanna watch it. Not bad, i never breathe at some times cos it darn exciting when they are racing, the computer effects not bad. Just a pity that rain nvr act much. His english sounds better now :)

But before i went to plaza to meet jj, i went to mustafa to buy something. A reebok singlet to wear for workshop cos i felt uncomfortable not wearing a shirt in it. But on my way there, i got a stupid tummy ache. I dumped them at the mrt station when i came back from mustafa. Darn, i have to use the handicap toilet cos the male toilet is under cleaning. How unlucky. I was late by 1/2 hr when i reached plaza. Sorry for waiting!

Besides watching the movie. I have another purpose! That is a birthday present for someone- xinwei! I had to think a lot this time. Practical stuffs. Bought it after the movie. Cost me 10+ dollars. I dont know whether to u, its practical or not. I feel that its practical, i hope so. I hope will like it, its my small token for you! I hope u like it! Study hard! Best wishes, enjoy yr 17th birthday tml! See ya :)

190508 mon

Chapter 71

2008-05-12T21:01:00.003+08:00

Yesterday no time to blog. Was busy with my project throughout the whole day. Erm, i'm just wanna blog what happen during my rovers camp at sentosa. Only 10 new rover scouts members came for this. Some are them are actually year 2. 2 of the them are Burmese. I only know xinwei at first before she intro her friend, peiwen.

Its the first camp since my sec 3 camp! 2year+ ago! Though this camp last from 6pm- 5am. But i tell u, its been a long time since i last enjoyed myself so much, really, its been a long time. I only dislike the amazing race but i only like the running. I more of enjoyed the activities on the beach. Haha xinwei, u gonna thank me for this. I'm a ind gentlemen ar. I sacrificed myself haha xD Then later, (not referring to xinwei and i that thing) i hurt my arms. Sad! Mainly my left. During the alone trail ar, i felt scare. It was so dark that i cant see whats in front of me and the animals' sound make me fear more. Then during the night trail ar, i got no partner for the last part. Then this senior joined me ar, she's ada, dont know spell her name correctly or not. She held my hand. I felt as if i have a gf, taking a walk with her, singing some songs along the way. The feeling, wa, is so magical ar. Maybe only real lovers can understand what i mean. Then the trail came to an end. She again held my hand, walking with the rest to another stop. I scare the rest of them think we are couple. Haha. I didnt want to hold her hand. She stop holding my hand at some point. I wanted her to hold my hand again. Though i at first didnt like it. I just wanna to feel that magical feeling again. Haha.

I made some friends. Cos the friends i have in sch before this was just from my class and the other combined class except for a few. I realised some times, its good to have camps once in a while. This camp made me really very happy! Its been a long time since i last enjoyed myself that much! There another camp this coming sat. But i dont know whether want to go or not. Depends actually.

110508

Chapter 70

2008-05-10T00:06:00.002+08:00

Today went for a haircut at far east, no sch today, came just in time, but have t collect my passport first. But the product wasnt the same as the previous one. But i'm still ok with it. Only regret that Ice didnt wash my hair today. I like the amt of strength she used, just nice. This time another gal do it for me. But hers was, she didnt use that much of strength which i wanted. Nvm.

Ice encourage me to dye my hair, but its X u know. 75 for it. I think i will, next time. But can anyone suggest me a cheaper place? I think i look better if my hair short. Haha

So thats it. And tml going for camp at sentosa for my cca. woa, looking towards it, but i got project on as well. Whatever, i will get all this done within the weekend. Me tough.

090508 friday

Chapter 69

2008-04-28T20:57:00.002+08:00

I think i have many things to get done by this week. But i'm glad i finally pierce ear. One on each ear. But the right ear was pierce just a bit out of position. I wanted to repierce. The stub was removed for the hole to close. Think i gonna pierce again. Its was painful when i removed the stub. But no pain no gain.

Many things to do this week, is there enough time? First i have to get dont the cip project, i dont want to give mr teo any chance to shoot me off. And his presentation too. Though its a fortnight again, i wont wanna waste time postponing it otherwise it may nvr be done. I hope my group members will co-operate.

Ya, i also need to get a haircut. Its been 2 months. Change my spects too!What else do i need to do? Cca selection? Gym club? Haha. dont know. Faster tell me what i need to get it done by this week!

Post 68

2008-04-28T20:44:00.002+08:00

Today is a bad day. Ganna shoot by the lecturer. He seems that he did it on purpose, i think he dont like me since the first lesson. Whatever, time will tell.

I really hate Mondays! Have to wake up fucking early! Lesson atarts at 8. And damn it! End at this fucking time- 530! By the time i reach home, at least 7pm! what the hell?! Why cant it be on friday? Why must it be monday. Worse i have to face mr teo! Since monday is fucking like this, it actually spoilt the mood for the rest of the week! How am i going to survive for the next 4 days? Worse, tueday study until 5! No difference! Then wed is the last day for cca showcase, Fuck, left ine day to decide! Arh!!!

Stress up by this 2 days.

280408mon

Chapter 67

2008-04-27T23:05:00.002+08:00

What's wrong with me. Though i dont like u, but i wooed u. Even i felt that what happen is so sudden. I bet u will think that i'm some playboy out there. U may even think what i told u is just some sweet talk.

No, u are wrong. Though its true i dont like u, but i believe feelings can be cultivated. I will try my best to make u happy. I am serious to u.

U said u need time to forget him. Dont worry, a gal of yr credible is worth waiting for, worth loving for and worth everything for. I can wait. But use dont use this as an excuse.

270408sun

Chapter 66

2008-04-26T00:05:00.003+08:00

Today, there was no sch. I quite like this :) But there's work to do. The IDEA project. Due on monday and i have to present it. Its been a long time since i last do this.

Spent abt 3 hrs to make that model for my project. Using mainly shoes boxes. Its nearly 2pm when i completed it. Went to mac, for lunch and using the laptop to complete the presentation. Its was a flop. Cant access the wireless there, couldn't complete the presentation, the battery running darn low. This note book really energy eater! Hate it for this! In the end, only complete the slides but not the points.

Bump into kewei at mac. She seens alright, thats good.

Then later went bbc for bb. This's the 1st time i play since my ankle sprained, 20 days ago. Felt my shoes, different. Finally saw ws. I realised he didnt really change. Thats good, hope u will stay that way. Ps me go far east cut hair first but i wasnt angry, dont know why. But i was very happy when u featured me in yr friendster when i viewed u just now. It tells me that i'm still a very important person in yr life. I'm really happy. I hope i will always remain in that 1st feature friend position.

Rather relieve in the end, my ankle was still ok though i play bb knowing that my ankle injury havnt fully recovered yet.

250408fri

Chapter 65

2008-04-21T20:54:00.002+08:00

Left home at 7am, but reach home at 8pm. Darn, guess why i'm late. Not cos i was outside having fun, but having to go buy stuffs needed for engineering drawing. What heck, lessons end at 5.30pm and after that have to go find these stuffs =.= To add injury to insult, they dont come cheap- $25+, i have to use nets to settle it.

Still bad news. Some of the stuffs i needed couldnt be found there =.= which means i have to pump more $! And for tml lesson, that 5 hrs lesson =.= , i dont have those stuffs that i need! Maybe i will suffer for that, xD

210408mon

Chapter 64

2008-04-18T23:50:00.004+08:00

This week is the first week of new beginning. Everyday, i need to wake up early. 8am class from mon, tue, thur, wed and fri, 9 am. Then mon to tue ar, 5 pm then end class, wed- 3pm, on thur and fri early , before noon. But for this week, lessons end earlier ar. The canteen is always flooded. Darn, i have pumped in $60 for the boiler suit, shoes and class funds. Sure more $ will be pumped in =.=

I think i like a gal. I don't know. I knew her on the first day, i ask her where's the toilet. Thought she year 2 or 3, then ask her year what, she said year 1. I left. On my way up the stairs from the toilet, i went to that floor to see if she's still there cos i forget to ask her for her name. Not there anymore.

Since that day, i will go to that floor to see if i could bump into her whenever i went for break or toilet. Never met her.

Then on thurday, when i went to take the lift up. There's a gal in front of me. It's was only when she went in then i realised its her though i at first cant confirm if she was the gal cos i cant really remember her looks! I asked her if she from that course, she then say that i'm the guy who ask where's the toilet is. Haha! She still can rmb me! I asked for her name and i offered a handshake. Got intro myself also. I forget her name, i can only rmb the fist word, the second one, i not sure. How can i forget yr name! I'm so sorry, i'm so stupid! Pls forgive me if u ever read this post! I then asked for her num, i wanted to give my num, but she wants to give hers to me. Ok, but i'm afraid that i did not take down the correct numbers...

Hais, i will just take a step at a time. I hope i will bump into u again and soon.

180408fri

Chapter 63

2008-04-14T21:01:00.003+08:00

I was very sad after the conversation with u. What happen to u??? I really hope i can live in the sky and observe your every moment on earth. I want to know how u live each day now, keeping track of you. I want to know the every step that u took to become the you of today.

The conversation was like a sky full of arrows. Killing me. I didnt retort back to yr arrows. I could, but i dont wanna blow up yr temper. Bleeding in silence, only the sound of blooding dripping. Like, waste space, why ask so much, so kapo for what. Worse of all is when u say u could understand what i'm talking abt. I dont agree with u, i bet ppl will agree that they could understand if i tell them. I really wanted to talk a bazooka and blast off your fucking mouth. But i endured the anger and sadness. Whatever, I REALLY HOPED THAT ITS ME WHO WAS OVER-REACTIVE! I REALLY HOPED ITS THAT WAY!

Maybe i have live long enough to realise that its time to give up on you. But i really dont want to. Its harder for me to give u up than joanne. U know why?

We have know each other since p3. At least 7 years but for joanne, not more than 3 months. Our friendship blossomed, it blooms when we were in secondary sch. We were more than friends, we are Brothers. Is it so easy for me to give up a Brother who witness my growth, vise versa. You knew me well, i guess better than others, u know deep about me.

Though i was not with u most of the time now, i always hope u will become better, and achieve yr target. I hope u still rmb what's yr goal. But just now our conversation, contrast with what i hope. Indeed, more hope, more disappointment. This time, i felt it, i felt the difference in u.

I felt i'm losing u, Brother. Losing joanne was bad enough, but i guess, one more have to go. Whatever, Fate always do this to me! 2nd time already! I hate God! He's cruel, and merciless! He wanted more. Why does he always choose to take my buddy, my bestie from me, not from other ppl?!

Luckily, i have already begun to adjust to the live of a loner. I like it. Maybe this is God's payback to me for what he took from me. Whatever, i'm sick of all this- taking buddies from me. I will just be a good student. Maybe God's way of making up to me is to introduce new people in a new environment- SP. I hope i can meet and know my further buddies. Looking towards, no matter what.

Brother, i will still treat you like a brother. I hope today isnt the real you now. I hope u are in a bad mood today. I hope the excuses i find for u are the real reasons. I hope i can see the you of last time.

ALL THAT I WROTE ABOVE WILL TURN TO NAUGHT IF IT WAS ME WHO OVER-REACTED, NOT THAT U HAD CHANGED. I hope i was too over-reacting to yr words in the conversation, thus is not that u change, is i over- reacted. I hope i can see the you of last time. Please dont forget and strive towards yr goal.

140408mon

Chapter 62

2008-04-13T22:25:00.002+08:00

Hais, tml sch reopen. Nearly for 6months, i nvr try waking up early and sleeping early. I hope i can fall asleep easily later. I want to be fresh for tml!

Yesterday when me and ht sat down and talk, it could be our last. He really taught me a lot. He sort of enlighten me and i now have directions in life, starting from tml.

I know i just sent u a message to yr friendster. I hope we can be friends again, seriously i do!

If u do not want to return to the past with me, i guess, this time i will try my hardest to forget u. Ht was right. His advice was right. This time i will be right.

Even if we cant be friends again, i have to thank u. U left memories that really pump life into me, make me smile, happy. . . U are just so innocent, yr innocence is just like an angel? i couldnt really describe it well, cos u are so special, so, so special. I will just rmb these memories, i hope they wont fade away. God, u will be cruel if u take this memories from me. You already took joanne from me, its enough, really, really enough. I hope we can be friends again. Fate, help us.

What i wont rmb abt u is that i will want to be yr friend again, after this last try. I hope the message i sent to u will be enough for u to rekindle this friendship. Only u left, my door's open. Yrs?

I hope for the best in this sch, new envrionment, new ppl. And also u.

130408sun

Chapter 61

2008-04-07T22:41:00.003+08:00

On my way back home from sch, at outram park. Going down the escalator, a gal rests her head on the hand panel, while escalator was going up. I thought it was you! My thoughts then are only you! YES YOU! I kept looking at you, but you didnt show yr face.

I'm not ready to just leave like that, though curiousity kills the cat. I went up the escalator to check if it's really you. I looked around the whole station, but i didnt saw the gal anymore. I only saw the guys whom i suspected were her friend. No trace of you, no trace of that gal. During this, my thoughts ran wild, i ask myself what to do if it was really you, i didnt have a clear picture. I then left.

My only regret was i didnt search the upper storey leading to the exit of the train station. If you went up there to hide, then this would be my biggest regret!

Maybe it was really u! Cos u hide yr face from fear of being recongised by me! Then its truly the biggest blunder and regret. Maybe this is Fate's last chance for me. But i hope he will always give me chances!

I dont care for the fact if the gal is u or not. I just wanna bump into you one day, Fate's way of answering me why u left me that way!

I still think of you at times. All the memories you left me are sweet, they bought smiles to me. But the way u left me, ended this friendship was the first and last tragic memory u left for me!

I seem to be affected by things related to you, you like and so on whenever, wherever i bump into or saw them. They had a lasting effect. But still i nvr hide the fact that i long to be friends again with u, and i want a better friendship with u. I'm greedy, but for u, everything is worth it.

070408 mon

Chapter 60

2008-04-07T22:14:00.002+08:00

Today went for orientation. Cant sleep sia, msn-ing with wayne until 1plus. Its been long since we last catch up xD. It was nice.

Have to reach school by 8am =.= Waited for clement. The bus stuck in jam, wait for him abt 45mins. Then go in together. Had a hard time finding the registration station. We even wanted to follow neat columns of ppl walking past us cos we scare that these ppl are our classmates. Haha xD

We were not late, in fact we have to wait for 1 more hour. =.= I made some friends. But they are not from my class! They're all from class 24, the 24th platoon, while i'm from the 23th platoon. This guy called charlton, damn irritating cos he keeps complaining abt the sch. He talked to everyone like he knew them. haha. He called me tommy. I dont like it. I tell him i'm kei, but he said k cos no difference when called. I disagreed with him. He damn funny and crappy. xDDD

Then this guy called izzac. Saw him and i wanted to be his friend cos he looks cool. He's 2 years my senior, he came from ite. Bet he pia to make it in here.

Then this malay friend, fami. I told him i'm park ji sung cos he wears a psv jersey. Haha xD I at first told him i'm iverson cos i misheard charlton told him that he was jordan. XDD

Our 2 classes combined for today. Guess what? 4 gals only. haha. Expected in an engineering course. 2 in my class.

Hais, i think will miss charlton and izzac a lot sia when our classes separated. I think we can get some outdoor activites for our course. Looking towards these xD

070408

Chapter 59

2008-04-05T22:58:00.002+08:00

I now really feel that i really chong tai chui ye this year.

This time i sprained my ankle when playing basketball. When i bunny-hop that time, while in the air, my left feet knocked against one of the opponent. In the air, i already felt my ankle was sprained and i land flat on the ground. I quickly removed my left shoe. It really hurts!

The gal apolognised, i joked with her, nvm, just pay me my medical fees xD. She smiled xD I joked with my friends, dont care abt me, a wounded soldier is useless! haha xD Then i spend the whole night watching them play. This time ht's band of brothers will come in use XD i told him earlier to lend me and bring down it. I think i gonna spent a week with it xD Thks cl for buying ice too.

Before the gal and her friends left, she apologzise again. I can tell she really sincere. Nvm i told her, and i joked again, tell her to help me home XD haha. She say she cant withstand my weight.

050408 sat
I left shortly with ht. He helped me home, thks! Haiz, think tml gonna spend $ on x-ray. $ again! Nvm, in case got any broken bone though i think the injury isnt serious. Sian, the wounded soldier got to rest behind the lines. x(

Chapter 58

2008-04-01T23:01:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was my last day. Today, i'm a free man. Finally and rightfully. Looking forward to spend my last 7 days of freedom before returning to duty (school). Never even bother to call anyone to go out with me today to taka, i dont know why. And, thanks sharon for info xD. Use up 1/2 hour to prepare. Set off at 12pm. Withdrawn some $ in case i wanted to buy any stuffs.

Went taka cos i have $100 worth of vouchers( that time buy laptop give de). I want to see what i could exchange with it. And i dont even know where's taka is. When i knew where is it, i then realised i walked past it many times! XDD I'm really dumb, haha. Went best denki first, i wanted a camara. Damn, i now then realise a camara isnt cheap at all. I can forget abt it now. There're few places where the vouchers can be used. I went to the 4th floor. Mainly sports stuff. Imagine buying ac milan jersey just paying $9 cash, i really laugh my heart off XDDD. I set my eye on a nike jacket- $92. Then i went down to other floors to walk around to see if are there any other better stuffs worth these vouchers. None is better than that jacket. When i went to the second floor to change my vouchers into smaller change, i realised they were gone. My nike jacket dream burst like a bubble. x((( But i didnt really feel real sad, maybe cos they aren't my $! xD I felt ready to left the mall, but i tell myself why not re- trace my steps even if i really cant find them in the end, at least there's little hope. And i found it in the hands of a security guard! He returned to the rightful owner xDDD and i begin to dream again. I went to exchange one voucher in smaller changes. I went back to 4th floor, but i didnt bought that jacket. I think since the vouchers have no expiry date, why dont i keep it to see if there are better options in future.

Left for b2 for food. I set my mind on using 1 $10 voucher for my lunch xD'' Before i really sit down, i will ask if the vouchers can be used. Finally choose to have my lunch at this japanese restaurant- Aji Tei, i think. I order porklet curry rice- $11.80, i been wanting to try it xD. I wanted more- a desert. I asked the waitress, she recommend me to try this desert- $5.80. I dont know the name, but i shall describe it, a vanilla sundae on top followed by small pieces of mango, cereals, milk shake and . .. , the bottom layer i dont know what it is. No drinks cos i see no need for it, they always gave customers a cup of tea. sometimes we should have tea, not always soft drinks xD. The curry's not bad. I dont know abt u all cos i suppose everybody have different views? xD I ate everything on the plate, except the soup and side dish, but before the desert came, i'm already full, i told the waitress, she laughed, haha. But it still came. Not bad too, just that u have to be careful with it, you will understand when u try xD, haha. I realised a few of the staff there are Vietnamese. While eating i been thinking how to spend and save my hard earned money. Went to settle my bill- $20.70. Used a $10 voucher to pay and others in cash. Not a cheap lunch but sometimes you have to treat yourself to good stuffs. Once in a while xDDD

Left the mall, went far east. Got mixed up, went to far east centre, ask the security guard for direactions. Reach there. Walk around. Came to this shop, granite. The salesperson forgot me. 2nd time i visited this shop. Some offers going on! 40%off, $23! But i didnt buy any. Went to look around. Complicated too, many shops! In the end i still went back to that shop. Bought some. 2 shirts, 1 cargo 3/4 shorts. Just when i was going to leave, i realise the back of the design of a skinny jeans compared with the one i'm wanted to buy at bugis is the same, same colour too!. Yuan lai, the 2 shops sell the same thing! Save the trip to bugis for it. Same price also xD- $40. Total bill- $126!!! Ask the gal to give me more offer, final price $122.5. Ok!xD

Done with my whole day shopping. Went back to sk. Reached at 630. Raining =.=, went looking around and library, left cp at 9pm. Reach home at 10 after dinner. Tired with smiles X)))

After my bath, try out the clothes. Think i gonna exchange 1 for smaller size. XD What to do for tomorrow, i have some ideas XDDD, not sure if tml will be carried out accordingly. haha

I realise i never felt loneliness at all, never, not even a bit today. Maybe i have gotten use to being alone, go out alone. Its so peaceful, for mind and physically. xDDD Many of u may think i'm weird or even crazy, haha, i understand, its alright x) I hope u all understand too as well. x)))

010408 tuesday

Chapter 57

2008-03-30T00:03:00.003+08:00

Today, i think i'm very happy! Don't really know how to explain why i felt that way. A hat- trick of happiness. Cos of this? I'm not really sure, though.

First, off day!

Second, i finally received my 77th street membership card. But i wait a long time for it, 3 weeks! But i was shocked when i received, the card spelled my 'kai' as 'kei'. I told the person. She told me not to change it, just use it, new image. I thought its a good idea. Maybe, i shall call myself Kei. And maybe ppl can call me Kei.

Lastly, i saw ASKA YANG!At first i didnt even know who he is. Its that fish monger who intro me. He said my hairstyle is like him at first. Then i go checked him up. Actually i saw his pic in i- weekly before, that time i find him cute cos his head! xDD Never did i realise that i will become his fan, which i am now. I bought his cd on thursday. At first, when i listen to his 11 songs, i felt that i wasted my money cos the whole album isnt really worth my 20 bucks. But i still went since its my off day and i bought the cd. But i tell u, when u hear him sings in real, its totally different from the cd! His voice, is just so captivating! I almost forget to record his singing of yang cong! Recorded half of it x(, but its really enough! xDD And his singing capability and techniques is really strong! Totally amazed and earned my total respect. And i now like some of his songs which i dont like at first.

I realised that you must listen to his songs many times, before you will really loved it. We were roasted there , the sun was merciless and Aska Yang was late by about 15minutes? The performance only last abt 1/2 hour? I had to Q for 1/2 hour then my cd is being sign. Cant take pics with him, cant sign on other places except the cd's cover cos he rushing to another place. It's alright! xD When i had a good look at him on stage, i realised his head is big! Haha! Left that hot place, seek refuge in the air con mall. Went jalan jalan around the mall, Its my second or third time been there. I'm lost that time and today too. At least 1/2 hour wandering in the wild. Rush back to sk to meet cl for rm.

290308 sat

Chapter 56

2008-03-20T12:28:00.002+08:00

These few days, i got many new things. On monday, my new comp arrived! Finally! But it doesnt come with speaker! Darn! Got to get one soon, i've been using my previous comp for a year+ without sounds! Imagine it! xD

Then on tuesday, i finally change my hp! Been promised it by my mum since last year. The model is 6121, i didnt even heard of it. Choose it cos its $0, just need to pay for the sim card. I actually wanted the 6500, buy i have to pay $100+. My mum surely wont want to. So i choose the 6121. Nevermind! I'm really happy, thanks mum for the phone!

Then yesterday, i got my laptop. Hais, i have to pay $800+ from my salary, while my mum sponser $500. And my mum applied nets for me just for paying the laptop xD! My first! I later realised its really convenient. Neverind cos i didnt want to be real- dependent on parents, thats why i worked in that mart. But the process of getting it is a real hassle! Imagine going to dover from sk 2 times! Cos i didnt bring any means to pay for the pcs, i went back around 6+ and got home at 9 sharp. And cos i didnt want to go back on other days cos i'm working on these days. I have to honour my promise- 31st march. The model is v3700? I cant really rmb. Thks jj for accompanying me!

And there are many camps to join, but i dont even feel like joining one =.=, and i felt the tour is a waste of my time... Make a new friend, Arthur. He's really friendly and he's my senior from holy high too! I love my school-SMA cos why?! Cos mac is near there! XD lame me.

200308 thursday

Chapter 55

2008-03-09T00:11:00.002+08:00

Darn. I really really felt the consequences of offending the tai shui ye. Born in the year of horse. Think i really have to offer some offering to tai shui ye one day. Yesterday got into a quarrel. This morning when i go to work, i had to go for a talk with the manager. Luckily both paries are willing to take a step back. I love peace.

Then at night, played bb, get into a quarrel with a useless, childish, unmatured young adult. He, 20+ years old quarrel with me, a 17 year old teen for no reason? I bet, if the whole world knows about this, young adults of his age group will hang their heads in shame! IN SHAME!!!! This isnt the first time i saw him get into a quarrel with ppl. I'm next. I dont even know how the hell i offended him. Even all the gods in this world cant pick up a clue. Even his friends cum teammates saw no wrong in me and supported me, saying that he only was in the wrong. How sad! Hahahahaha!!!! Laugh my head, even my skin off. You're lousy! LOUSY! Get this into yr head, u fucking, damn little son of a dirty bitch of a smelly, sub- pussy. LOUSY- only the word for YOU! Hahahahaha!!!!!!

Whew, done. Damn you, MR LOUSY! SO LOUSY! SO LOUSY! SO LOUSY! MISTER LOUSYYYYY!!!!!!!

080308SAT

Chapter 54

2008-03-07T22:55:00.003+08:00

Man, its been 14 long, hell- ing days that i last had off. I was betrayed by that sly manager of mine. Fuck. But i'm not here to speak out my suffering.

I accompanied jj to compass to buy clothes for his interview, darn, he was darn fussy. He was like a king in the hang ten store. He took nearly 45 mins to buy what he wants in the end. I bought a black jeans- $25. I needed one cos there are no black jeans in my closet.

Now its my turn to be king, i went to 77th street to buy a pants that i long ago have my eyes on. Its a black colour pants. The lady gave me another colour to try. The colour is bright, light brown pants. I liked that colour. And i bought that- $47.90. Dont know why whenever 77 street show me another colour of a same design, i always take that, forgeting the previous colour i set my eyes on. And one more thing, when u like something and u wanted it. Buy it when u have the means. Dont wait cos u will find it difficult to part with yr $ saved for it. The lady advised me to be a member. She said it will be worth it. I know, but i'm afraid cos i dont really buy many stuffs from 77 street. The lady still can remember that she served me when i bought a shirt. Good memory. In the end, i still came back to apply for the membership. I chose the red one, there's 2 designs to choose. But i still need to wait for 2 long weeks for the membership card. Hais. . .

Then go jj hse. Listen to many shin yue tuan's songs on youtube. Not bad xD. Then later ws come along. Then he later came my hse then later compass. Actually wanting to meet meilissa but things cropped up. Really wanted to see u, miss u, but no chance. Next time.

Then at night, darn. This guy. . . Fuck, dont wanna think of it. He's lucky, if he alone, then i think he gonna get swallowed whole. Then other guy reignite the war again, Fuck. But not worth the waste of time. Dare bully my brother ar, if not for the fact we were seriously outnumbered, we would have fight. This time, retreat is the best option.

Darn, only the night marred this happy off- day. Fuck. Spent $84.5 today. Bulk of my cash gone, in just an hour. Poor man now.

070308fri

Chapter 53

2008-02-27T22:27:00.003+08:00

Today went for a hair cut! I think i need it, cos it's long and i dont know what to do with this stupid, ugly hairstyle of mine and i badly need to get rid of this irritating side parting of mine! So i told ws the day b4 that i wanna go with him to cut hair. To a place he always recommend me to go.. It''s called- Hair profile, in far- east plaza.

My stylist is Ice, cool name. She told me to go for a hair wash first then cut. The massage , not bad. I can only describe my hair, so hard to discribe it. My fringe was gone, sideburn too. The new hairstyle, i quite like it. Though i did not become more handsome, it just make me feel good. Think i gonna go there again. $30 for students, a bit EX. She recommend me to dye my hair, to make my hairstyle, and me look better. And also to rebond my hair, she says my hair is natural curled. I agreed, but all these need money. $ talks, business walks!

But i will have a headache cos i need to constantly style my hair, otherwise this haircut will come to naught, this hairstyle is useless then. And also i have to blow my hair after bath and comb it straight to prevent the parting from reappearing again. Haiz, so much trouble, but it's worth it, i feel. Haha xD. I will see.

270208 wed

Chapter 52

2008-02-24T23:21:00.002+08:00

Today went look for a pair of basketball shoes. I really need it, not for the sake of buying. My slippers wearing out, having to change them frequently and also to protect my feet, this's very important! In fact, i have been looking for a pair for nearly a month and i did do bits of research in the net. I wanted to end this fruitless search.

My maximum budget is $80. Cl and me headed to heartland mall. First we went to world of sports. As u know, their stuffs are quite EX. Then we head to sport link. Many shoes but few within my budget. Both of us are looking for as cheap as possible ones. We decided to leave. I took a last look at the store when we stepped outside. I guessed i left one brand unattended- Anta. Told cl to go take a look, within our budget. The best is, 2nd pair discount off $15. Our last hope. I chose one that very simple in design, full white, except for the sole and back of the shoe. I wont accept black- coloured shoes cos i'm afraid they may absorbed too much heat. We both found our shoes and paid for them. $60 each. In the end, we both only paid $52.40. What a bargain! xD

Left the mall, and head to rm. Then home to eat, then go down to play bb in my new shoes. At first was very tight, couldn't get use to it. Starting doing lay ups to get use to the shoes and also to try out the shoes. Still acceptable. I realised wearing basketball shoes, u will stand taller, and u shoot the ball with more ease, all this benefits come with the 2 cm- the thick sole of the shoes. Its really different wearim=ng bb shoes and not wearing them. Hope they will serve me well xD

240208 sunday

Chapter 51

2008-02-23T00:20:00.006+08:00

Its been so long since i MIA. My com kept giving me headaches. Unexpectatly, today, it is a good com today so i decided to update my blog, seize this chance. But this doesn't mean my com is fixed. Not yet. And i think i gonna get some gold from my parents to get a new com. This com have served me for 4 long years. So sad, time to say goodbye- soon.

So now, i'm gonna update you, readers what's going on around me. I'm posted to singapore poly, marine engineering. I was praying not to get into my first choice- aeros electronics. Maybe my interests in it faded, like petals falling off a bright cherry blossom. That's maybe why i prayed not to get in.

And yesterday, thursday, i went to catch L- the Last 23 days the movie with one friend. How sad. No choice, many have went back to school or are working. At least i'm not alone. I think that this movie isnt as good as the first and second movie. But its still ok i think. This time the villains are totally different. Also, L is not mainly playing mind games like in the previous 2 movies, this movie, you will see L involved in some bits of action xD.

Now about my job. I think i'm rather becoming bored with it. I think it really suck at times. I felt as i work, my attitute keeps dropping, becoming lousier. I felt like quiting at times, but thoughts of having not reach my target spurs me to stay and fight on. I wished i could reach my target soon.

That's it, end of my updates. I hope my com can behave as well as today next time when i used it though i'm gonna bid it goodbye. Hope it will serve its master well up to its last breath xD haha. I hope i can still update my blog in future in this ailing com of mine, while the new one havnt come serve me yet.

220208 friday

Chapter 50

2008-01-24T23:34:00.000+08:00

Today is judgement day. A day for which, everybody can die or live in peace regardless of results, cos we do not need to worry anymore. Mr lai told me that my results are humourous. Humourous?? You mean bad? I asked. He said OK. He struck more fear into me. Maybe, i really fared lousey according to my prediction. I predict that i will over shoot the 20 points for jc.

It's my turn to take my results. I took a look. I cant understand the result slip. So i just asked mr lai what i get. He said all are straight B3. Now then i know why my results are humourous. I can calculate my results. I couldn't believe it, i can go jc! Just happy cos my results exceed my expectation. Couldn't believe it. B3 for combined science in o is actually my best grade in the whole of these 2 years! And my geog, i seriously strongly believed that the most i could only get a B4 cos i did not attend questions worth of 27 marks. Out of the hell, i managed a B3. I shook everybody's hands that have been a part of my life in Holy Innocents' life during these 4 years. I know i haven't shook all yet. But today, i bid you all, a final farewell. Maybe we will meet again. Only God know.

I learnt something. U can do badly for every exams, but u just need to do good for just that one exam. You will forget about your previously, sub- standard results for good! To those that are unhappy with your results, i can only console u by saying- at least u didnt fare worse than that. Be thankful. I'm grateful that i didnt fare worse. What about u?

I'm happy with it. My mum wasnt. Cant know what she thinking. If i do better than this, i think she will not be happy too. Maybe, she always wanted me to reach the higher stars. I don't know. What matters actually is, that i'm happy with it.

Ya, thanks mary, amanda and xinyi for yr present. Though u ppl handed it to me after 13 days, nearly 2 weeks! I'm still grateful to u all. Really thanks! xD 你们真有心！谢谢！

The next challenge is to carefully choose the next cross-road u gonna walk. So do consider every possible route carefully. It's maybe, one of your most defining moments in life! So take care and god bless! xD

240108 thu

Chapter 49

2008-01-19T23:20:00.000+08:00

Today, i went to yr profile to wish u an early birthday. I know it's tomorrow, 20 jan, a date i will remember, be sensitive to. I hope u can at least replied- thanks. I will be grateful.

19jan sat

Chapter 48

2008-01-18T23:09:00.000+08:00

While i was using computer, i saw u on9! Something wrong with my eyes?! No. My heart skipped a beat. I asked myself a question. U came back to be my friend?

I take a look at my contacts' list. Your contact appears offine. I know u blocked me. How i wished we can be friends again. Does it have to end this way?! My door's open, what about yours? I dont know and i dont need to. Up to u, i wont force u.

It's god- damn true that i cant put u aside. Maybe time tells. Right now, i still cant accept the fact that i'm not your friend anymore. Wished one day, we can be friends again, i really do!

18janfri

Chapter 47

2008-01-17T22:43:00.000+08:00

Unexpectedly, u left offline messages for me. So now, u're telling me u did not ask that edwin to be yr middleman? Then ok, i'm sorry for accusing u. But can u blame me? I saw comments posted by him at yr profile. They made me think that way. So there's little blame u can put on me. U think i really purposely accuse u? No. I'm not that lowdown. And btw, why did u claim that i accuse u? From my comment posted to yr profile or from my blog?

But to tell u the truth, i still wanna reignite this friendship. I wanna revive it. It's only up to u, only u. And one more thing, the memories between us, i recalled them with fondness, they still can put a smile back to my face. All have been beautiful. The only uglyness, u left it in the end, the way u ended it.

I dont mind being yr friend again, only up to u. I hope one day u can view my blog and read this entry. Everything i wrote about, are not a pack of lies. I swear.

17janthr

Chapter 46

2008-01-16T20:52:00.000+08:00

Forget to write abt today. Just now totally into that post. Sorry.

Today work ended 1230. Later go out with ws, melissa, josephine and jessie to bugis. Nice to meet u, jessie. Didnt want to go there, feeling unwell, in fact, for a few days already. But quite fruitful lah cos see many things that make my eyes feel good, the clothes!

Gonna go on a shopping spree there. This friday? Dont know. That jessie ar, was really rough, she smack me in the stomach when i dare her. So rough, but she actually, quite funny xD. Haha.

Gonna say sorry to u, jessie, if my words went too far. I'm really joking with u. Haha. End of today.

16jan wed

Chapter 45

2008-01-16T19:45:00.000+08:00

Today, I have finally seen u through, everything. Just that i stepped out of yr life still with questions marks. Why did u do this to me? What actually happen? And did u have any reasons why u're doing this to me?

Now i dont know should i hate u to yr last bit or what?! U only did one bad thing to me, that is doing this to me! I treasure this friendship. But you, just dump it into the dustin. And u dont even dare to tell me yr reasons. Instead, u used this guy called edwin. If i rmb correctly, when i first viewed yr profile. This same edwin post a comment to u. Something like this- i thought u are a true friend, but i guess i was wrong. Take care.' Even idoits can guess what this edwin's fate is. Same as me, being dump by u. Then suddenly he post a comment to me, telling me to stay away from u. I wanted to reply him, but i guess, he's gutless. He dont allow comments, only by his friends in friendster.

Wasting my time. He trying to act beng? He had failed completly. Not even worth me taking a look at him. Useless fellow. I guess u're just using this fellow as yr puppet with the promise of friendship. Think he will get dump by u after this thing ended. Poor guy, he dont even know what hit him. I bet he died with a sweet smile on his naive face. Just hope this wont happen to you, edwin. But if she really did that to you, i'm not shocked, cos u have a mentality of a primary sch kid, how pathetic for you xD. Take it a lesson learnt, kiddy. U need to pay fees for learning lessons, just that u pay a bigger price. So i gonna wished u all the best in yr friendship with her. Maybe it will last a lifetime for u. Better pray hard, kiddy.

What a day, didnt my blog says i hate quarrelling with ppl. Ya, i feel tired after this war with that edwin. Never could i imagine u treat me like this, joanne. I hate to give u names. I will not. I will just blame myself for treating u with all my heart. How dumb! I learnt my lesson. And i paid a price for the fees. And next time, dont use a person to speak yr words to another person. Do it face to face. Maybe u dont dare to tell me why u 're doing to me. Maybe u have no reasons, cos i never did anything wrong to u. If so, then i cant understand why u ended this friendship. Or maybe, u are a hypocrite right from the start of this friendship! I dont know the truth, only u knew. You should just remember this real fact, u ended this friendship, not me!

Its true that i really enjoyed the short time we spent together and i dont mind keeping these sweet memories deep. U just did one bad thing to me, that is to end this friendship. What a finale. It's like a beautiful, yet murderous betrayal. U killed me from behind. Knock me dead by an evil, deadly blow, which i cant look back at u,asking u why are u doing this to me, through my totally disbelief eyes. Dead. I will just take it that i woke up from a sweet dream, just that that the awakening is a really, really nasty awakening. 当做好梦终于做完. . .

I felt really emotional tying this post. Sad, confuse and burning with rages how this friendship had came to this end. Nevermind. It's over, finally. An end to a long period of uncertainty and despair. The only consolation.

16jan wed

Chapter 44

2008-01-15T19:51:00.000+08:00

ZZZzzz. Work again!! 05.45am showing on my hp. . . Sian.

But i always prefer working the 6.30am shift than the 9am shift. Though i hate to wake up so late, the 6.30am shift is more busier than, so time flies faster. The 6 hrs always go faster. That's why i wanted to work 6.30am, but i'm only allow to work at 6.30 on tue and wed.

Today was busier. Cos, chinese new year is coming! Dont think i could finish my work in 6 hrs. So i told the manager to work for 1 more hr, he said can. Then, i went meet melissa. Dont why she wanna meet me.

Go mac, eat and talk. Then suddenly joanne became the topic. I quickly change topic. Then saw this canxing friend, call amanda. Then go library. Borrow some books. See her off then home!

Why are u doing this to me? I really cant understand. And i really dont know why. WHY!!! I just dont wanna lose u, i wanna be yr friend for life. That's the bottomline.

15jan tue

Chapter 43

2008-01-12T15:27:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was my birthday. Time really flies, now, i'm 17! And today i can begin my countdown of 365 days to my 18th birthday. Looking back, my only regret is not putting in more effort for my O-levels. Never is enough! I will deserve my results, i will not complain on that day.

I realised that many people from my class dont know or dont remember that 11Jan is my birthday. It's alright! How pathetic for me! I'm not popular with the class, must be. Ok, i'm not here to speak out my bitterness.

I'm here to thank those ppl who wished me. How nice of u ppl! I wanna thank mary, zhiyan, amanda, shaun, jamie and sharon from 4 Int. And also to also ppl who wished me. Just thanks! Especially to meilissa. Though i'm pissed off when u keep telling me u wanted to go home change:), i'm still grateful that u accompanied me when the others are still in sch. Just thanks.

And those that i treated yesterday, make sure u remember this treat and repay me on your birthdays! A bill of $28.35 for that whole day. It's OK. Just remember to repay me in any ways!

I just wanna say a bigggggg THANKED YOU to all that wished me!

11jan fri

Chapter 42

2008-01-08T21:59:00.000+08:00

Are my fears becoming reality? I called U, and yr hp says, sorry, the number is not in use. Little hope left. A few days back, i still can remain hopeful, cos it's just- currently unavailable. Now, almost no hope.

But i still believe U are not purposely avoiding me. I shall remain hopeful. But i think, i can only hang on for just some more.

080108 tue

Hitting the ground nearer each day, please come back and pull me up

Chapter 41

2008-01-05T21:35:00.000+08:00

Today is a happy day for me. Know why??? Today off! And i made, i think , today a day good spent xD. Went out with ws and cl. To new world centre, farrar park mrt there to play pool. Think we mad go so far to just play pool where we could settle our cravings at nearby hougang plaza? Cos that pool is owned by my friend's father. Auntie told me to go there play. Count us cheaper xD, abt $5.50. And also dont need to sign those forms to become member, auto become member. Otherwise already $10+ per hour. So X. Now u understand why we wanna go there. Think u all understand, the only thing u will need to understand is. . . Guess what? A calculator! No offense. Haha.

Go there lost in a place. I felt i was in bombay or some other indian cities. Should understand right? If not, go take a walk there xD. Hungry sia. Go eat. Indian restaurants lined the streets, mostly. Settle our stomachs at an indian kopitam. Ws's meal cost $8. Cl and me eat indian rojak, our meal cost nearly $10. Then we discuss what to do next. Abandon plans. Cheong bugis. Walk there halfway, Rain-ing! Walk back to farrar park mrt to take train to bugis. Go arcade first, just use 1 credit cos there dont have games i could dominate. Then later go the super heros stop. Bought this long sleeve navy blue formal shirt, with a small superman logo on the upper left side of the shirt. Guess the price! Just $15! The price tag worte that the shirt is up to $79! Dont know can believe it or not. Heck care, just happy cos i didnt use a lot of $ to buy a something i wanna buy xD.

Wanted to go bugis street to go see see, i wanted a vest, I noe there got sell. But again, Rain spoilted my plans. Now abt 4.30pm. I wanted the rain to stop, i could wait, but cl and ws couldnt. So just no choice lah. Go up 2nd floor see see. Didnt like anything. No more imports. Went back to sk. Go cut hair. Make me refresh man XD! Like it! Then go home change then go down play bb. Rain spoilt everything again. We withdrawn to koufu to have dinner. Then Rain stopped. Go play bb, but the ground is rather wet, making the ball wet. But still have fun xD and i like it cos since some days nvr sweat liao. Then go home early lor, abt 9pm. Cos tml got work ma =.=

It's been 9 days since i have any contacts with U, i dont see U on9 too and i couldn't reach U by calling U and smsing U. It's making me worrying why these have happened and maybe i'm going out of control soon. I couldn't lose U as my bestie. I already treat U like my bestie! So just re-appear in my life again! Since the night of 11th December, i have made U my bestie, know why, cos U just asked whether i need U to call me to talk about it, not even bother to ask why first, which i expect most ppl to ask why first. U didn't! From that sentence, i made U my bestie! Though i do not know whether i'm your bestie or not. I don't wanna know it and i don't need to cos what matters most is, I HAVE MADE U MY BESTIE. U are important to me in my life! U kept me breathing! I have female friends, but U are my only female bestie! U're just so special, i couldn't use other words to describe U, except- special. U can offer me what my other female friends cannot offer. I'm confident U have your reasons why i couldn't contact U, and also that U will re-appear again in my life. But at the same time, i felt that U're purposely avoiding me, i may die not knowing why. So just re-appear in my life again to settle my worst fears and keep me breathing. Maybe my best birthday present for this year on Jan 11th is that U will re-appear in my life again. I just can't lose U- as my friend, as my bestie.

What i wrote earlier, my female friends, pls do not be offended. I'm really sorry if i offended any of u. All of u have been great too ;)

05.01.08 Sat

Looking forward to your re- appearance in my life

Chapter 40

2008-01-02T21:05:00.000+08:00

Today first sch of day sia. Woke up at 5+, not for sch but for work =.= Work to 1230 then go sch take $. 150 for good progress award xD Cant imagine i could get it, never thought of it during this 4 years, but took granted of it during primary sch. The feeling of going back sch is so weird. Last time still take it for granted. Lesson of the day- don't take things for granted.

Then walk ard hougang mall. So long nvr go there. Then go meet ws, melissa and her friend, dont know how to spell her name. Go clark quay walk walk, eat. So X! Nothing to write abt now, sian. That's it.

020108 wed

Chapter 39

2008-01-01T21:13:00.000+08:00

Yesterday darn rush again. Rush to yishun to work. This time, rather better cos dont have to keep the glasses! And i receive $5 tips from an uncle who keeps asking me to bring him one glass of beer. Still got $5 hongbao xD Go homealready 11+, then tml still have to work 6.30am =.=

Then today after work go jurong. To visit my both grandmothers. So far. But so long nvr see them le, after O- levels after never go visit them. So today, i shall fulfill my responsibility as a grandson xD. Go jurong west first to see ah ma. Dont know how to go leh, so see map at mrt. Manage to reach. Bought some pears. 4 for $1, i think i miser sia. But thoughts that count xD. Bought them for ah ma. Bought them cos my family always buys fruits for ah ma b4 going to visit her. Sort of become a routine. Then stay there for 2 hrs+.

5pm go take bus 335 to grandma hse. Miss the stop sia, go all the way to the interchange. Have to take the bus from there =.= Think i long time nvr come back. thats why i lost. But this time correct. Reach there abt 6pm. Then eat dinner there. The scrambled egg she cooked is darn salty. Tell her not to cook so salty, for her health sake. Then left abt 7.30. Reach home already 8+, sian. Lesser time to use com =.= Have to sleep early lor cos i think i tml work 6.30 again =.=

Though the journey is far and tiring, but i dont know why. I just feel so happy! To visit my grandmothers. People, if you have the time, just go visit yr grandparents. Worth it xD

By the way, best wishes everybody for 08

311207- 010108 mon- tue

Chapter 38

2007-12-27T22:47:00.001+08:00

Today finally off, after 9 days of battle. But woke up too early! Awaken by my mum who scold me for not locking the door. I deserved it, no complains. Then went back to sleep. 8+ woke up. Darn early. Didnt want it, off day is spoilt. Then go eat mac with cl. Long time nvr eat hotcakes with sauage. Then play bb. Played then talk with ht until 12+, realised that i will be late later meeting joanne.

Reach there, then she tell me must reach home at 6. Haiz, then cant watch movie liao lor, time constrain, sian. Iwont blame her, mummy's good gal. Haha! Then talked lor. Handed her my christmas present for her. Hope u like it, but i only want u to appreciate my thoughts and actions only. Then later go meet her friends. Yilin and ching shia. Nice to meet u all! Then joanne see me off at the mrt. Told her to take care of herself and offered a handshake. She took it.

I have to say sorry to my friends who gonna come over to meet me. I'm sorry. But i'm too tired and i have to work tml's morning. So i hope u all understand. Just sorry. And i realised that i didnt talk to joanne abt thongs that i wanted to know, darn it, a day wasted. I'm so dumb.

271207thur

Chapter 37

2007-12-24T21:47:00.000+08:00

The past few days have been hectic, especially yesterday night. 7 hells of pain.

For the past few day, waking up early for work and sleeping late in the morning. Cos need to go bbq! Happy birthday! And also having to go amk work as waiter at night. Made friend with a jiejie. Dont know her name. Have to take taxi home, cos no bus liao. Shared with cl- $9. Asked the driver to cheong down expressway. Still can take it cos hongbao- $10 xD

The worse day is the next night. My stomach felt pain and i went home to shit. Didnt come out. The pain still continued. Beginning of hell. I was tired so i sleep, while my stomach was still in pain, worsening. I slept with pain. Refused to go see doc cos i thought i wil be ok after a while. But after an hour, i was still in pain, worser, whenever i moved a muscle, made a movement. It was hell. Go take taxi to sgh at 9pm.
The procedure so troublesome. Take temperature, ask ,any qns. Then take blood pressure, then urine sample. Then finally the doc. The doc asked me go take x-ray. A bit scared- radiation. Then finally can know what's happening to me. Constipation! How can it be, i just do `it`2 days ago, i told the doc. He said that i didnt clear it well. Cant understand medical language =.= Then he told a male nurse to insert a fluid into my intestines through my asshole. Yucks!!! Its painful. The doc told me to hold the shit for at least 10 mins to allow the fluid to take effect to clear my bowels. The 10 minutes felt like eternity! I nearly couldn't hold on for 10 minutes! Cant imagine it if i cant hold. They dropped like bombs from a bomber. Haha!

The doc told me to eat more veggies. But i always got eat so how can this happen to me? Cant understand nature! Finally can go home after collecting medicine. Already 11+ when on way home. $120 in total! $90 for the treatment. So X! The rest- taxi fare. Went home eat to fill up my bowels. Haha! Cos just now havnt eat yet. Went to sleep after washing the dishes and still have to wake up early for work. The doc nvr give me mc =.=

Then today go work. Overslept! Reach there about 7am. Work till 1pm. Then cheong home to change then go meet cl at cathay to watch warlords who later still need to work at 6pm. Time was tight. I havnt have a proper meal the whole day. A piece of cake in morning and popcorn in movie, except for dinner. Felt like going to bugis but too tired lah. Went bacj to sk with cl. He went home to prepare for work while i went to rm by lrt. Went there play arcade and bought 2 vcds over there- 2 for $10. Nightmare detective and 1942. Went home watch disc one of 1942. Maybe going out with melissa tml? I dont know, nothing's planned.

23-24.1207 sun- mon